NetNews Usenet Archive 1992 #27/NN_1992_27.iso/spool/alt/backrubs/989

Text File | 1992-11-16 | 1.8 KB | 37 lines

Newsgroups: alt.backrubs
Path: sparky!uunet!infonode!ingr!msdhsv!foxxjac.b17a.ingr.com!foxx
From: [e-mail] ("AJ")
Subject: Preferred Gender
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Lines: 15
Sender: [e-mail] (USENET)
Reply-To: [e-mail]
Organization: "Intergraph Corporation, Huntsville AL"
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 16:38:30 GMT

     One other issue to throw on the fire with respect to living
in the U.S.A. is that people here have a larger "personal" space
than most other cultures.  Most people have a comfortable buffer
of space around them and are accustomed to having that except in
certain (usually) known situations.  If they lose that space they
feel uncomfortable.  Ask anyone about their first crowded subway
experiences.  Impersonal crowding of that personal space is
allowable to a certain point, but then becomes too close.  A
sub-point is that some families hug/touch a good bit and some
don't, so different people have different "known" experiences.

     So (back to the issue) it's not too surprising that some
men are nervous about receiving massages from other men.  No
matter how needed or pleasurable, a degree of uncomfortableness
must be overcome to relax that unconscious vigilance we all keep
of our personal space.  IMHO, to most males, a massage by a
female can be analogized to similar contact in other (at least
theoretically) known situations, so some of the nervousness is
not present.  A massage by another man, however, is more
"unknown", not similar to most previous experiences, so there's
more initial uncomfortableness to overcome.  This is why and
where a "professional demeanor" comes into play.  It helps to
define the client-professional relationship so that the
recipient will find it hard to misinterpret the situation.
  --AJ