The IRS has agreed with mortgage lenders to exchange notes by Email comparing the stated earnings of loan applicants with the figures they fill in on their tax returns. In cases where there is a discrepancy of more than $10,000, the Revenue's snoops may investigate.

The self-employed have most to fear from this latest manifestation of Big Brotherism, which will catch them out if they overstate their earnings for the purposes of securing a mortgage or understate them when the time comes to make their annual disclosure to the tax authorities. Most, of course, will do both, putting them in double jeopardy. This is one development that cannot and must not be allowed to cross the Atlantic.

Yawn of a new millenium
Readers are invited to unite with Mole in condemnation of the so-called Year 2000 Crisis, the biggest bore since tedium began. Humanity must be in serious trouble if the most it has to worry about at the dawn of the new millenium is that a few computers wake up a bit confused. No one seems remotely concerned at the prospect of Judgement Day, which could have much more far-reaching consequences. Perhaps everyone simply expects the big day will have to be postponed due to scheduling problems with the heavenly host.

Millenium chaos is being promoted in every quarter, by the press which is always looking for something massively dull to write about, and by IT managers who are always seeking something new to justify their miserable, incompetent existences. The question business managers should be asking, just before handing the head of IT his cards, is why didn't you bring me this problem in 1947?

As for the manufacturers, it is difficult to imagine a more cynical example of built-in redundancy. In a recent edition of The Money Programme, IBM and Microsoft admitted that only software sold after 1997 would be guaranteed millenium compliant. How convenient. Microsoft always said we could expect to wait around two years for a successor to Windows 95. Year 2000 heebie-jeebies should help sales of the next release along nicely. What a pity that Microsoft and every other IT supplier who will inadvertently profit from pre-2000 panic didn't know about the millenium earlier.

Winter of discontent
Electronic mail, as we are constantly reminded, can improve communications with your customers.

The customer-conscious Microsoft has taken this to heart and never misses an opportunity to bombard the unwashed and unwary with unsolicitied material.

For most of course, being on a Microsoft mailing list lies somewhere on the scale of human experience between undiluted pleasure and sheer ecstasy, but there is always the odd ungrateful devil who doesn't see it that way.

When David Winter of workflow software firm Viewstar complained to Microsoft, he received a sympathetic response from Andy Matson, business manager of Solution Developer sales. Matson sent one of his colleagues in SD sales the following message: "Well, one grumpy git out of 180 is not too bad.

One of yours I believe! Good luck with him - but for God's sake, don't send him an Email!!!!" Unfortunately he also sent the message to Mr Winter and the other 179 recipients of the original mailshot. In a suitably grovelling follow-up (also sent by Email, incidentally), a mortified Matson writes: "... to say I've blundered is an understatement. Every now and again a nightmare comes true - and mine just did. We have had many requests to set up an Email information system and this initial one is being prepared from within the Solution Developer group. It is not sophisticated ..."

Microsoft: an apology
Elsewhere in a bad week for customer relations, Microsoft Holland sent out the following irony-laden paragraph on a postcard apologising for the late shipment of the October MSDN. "MSDN is committed to getting you all the information and products you need to develop quality solutions.

We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause."

Mole remains committed to digging the dirt on the computer industry and is not at all sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Send your grubby little stories by email or phone 0171 316 9068.

This column first appeared in the UK edition of PC Week, 12 November 1996.
Check out the last one to feature in Stuff - if you've got nothing better to do.