omes are getting larger, but family sizes aren't. What's behind this quest for more space and does it make sense for you?

After the real estate bust of the late '80s and the accompanying recession, all but the cheapest and smallest homes were selling.

Then came the longest bull market in history. By 1995, even the clumsiest investor was doing cartwheels over his or her individual retirement accounts and 401(k) plans. With a new feeling of prosperity came renewed hope in the American Dream. Suddenly your three-bedroom home just wasn't big enough anymore.

The boom-and-bust real estate cycle clearly showed developers that size does matter, although not necessarily in the old "trophy house" way. The point was not to show off our marble bathroom or unused third floor. It certainly was not to pay taxes and heat rooms for "display." We want space, all right, for the daily rewards it gives us. New buildings draw from the past to accommodate the future.

The first question home viewers ask is, "Where's the family room?" That's the room, tantamount to the old Victorian "great rooms," where a variety of activities can be performed without walls getting in the way. The rooms keep a separate feel to them. In the kitchen, Dad might be trying out a recipe on the stove-top grill while sister is working on an experiment at the eat-in kitchen table as Mom watches her big screen TV in the family room.

It's called "active togetherness." Who needs to talk when there's so much family karma in one room? Fitting all these activities in one well-organized space takes square footage. In other words, you need to get a lot of bang for the buck.

Then there's the home office, the deck that adjoins the family room and the kid's playroom. All are larger-sized rooms that play off the open feel that permeates much of America's architectural styles today.

That has led to a steady upward growth in the average sizes of new homes . Today, the average new single-family home has more than 2,000 square feet. That's 43 percent bigger than what our parents or grandparents lived in - on average - 50 years ago.

The happy paradox is that the kind of big space we covet today may cost no more or only a few dollars more, than smaller homes of years ago when adjusted for inflation. Why?

True, all space costs money, but adding mere square footage without adding walls, separate lighting, more doors and more windows, may cost very little extra. Big rooms don't run into money. If you build a home with a number of small separate rooms or with intricate plumbing and electrical work, the costs will skyrocket. High ceilings don't cost a great deal extra either, and they give rooms a brighter, roomier feel.

Why do we need such big spaces? It's a simple observation. There's a lot more to do at home and we need a lot more equipment, clothing and supplies to do these things. In the '80s they called it "cocooning," meaning we stayed at home with a video and a pizza. In the new millennium, the easiest way to meet folks may be to stay home. Between chat clubs on our PCs, home offices and big screen TVs with surround sound, there are plenty of good reasons to have homes big enough to support our busy at-home lifestyles. And we also need more space to store all the extra equipment, toys and clothing we use in these activities.

We're not only living at home, we're also working at home. Technology allows us to bring our work home with us by using a computer and a modem. Now, 17 percent of U.S. households have more than one telephone line to accommodate a modem, and the trend is straight up.

The tax law passed by Congress in July, 1997 increases the number of people eligible to deduct computer and telecommunication equipment at their home offices, even if they have an official office elsewhere.

You no longer need to see clients at home to take a deduction. Any essential activity, even purely administrative, such as paying bills, can get you a telephone/equipment deduction and a deduction for expenses associated with the space. This makes the IRS a helpful partner in the trend toward increasing your home size.

So does this trend mean you too should buy the biggest house you can find?

Not necessarily. Consider the cost and your specific needs. The biggest factor that drives housing costs remains the location. Look for places where you want to live and then find out if you can afford the house you want in that area.

Larger houses also mean that your utility bills will be higher. You'll need more furniture to fill the home. Repairs and maintenance costs will be higher and you may need professional help to clean on occasion. The point is, don't forget about the tradeoffs you'll have to pay for when you choose a larger home.

And you still must connect the location factor with the size factor. The 3,500-square-foot, three-story beauty nestled among a row of 1,200-square-foot ranch houses is probably not a great idea.

But, even more critical to eventual resale value is who is likely to buy your house. The answer to that question depends on when you plan to sell.

If you're planning a quick, three to five year turnaround, buy or remodel with the baby boomer in mind. By all means, if you have the means, install the big bath, the family/great room/kitchen and the homey front porch. That's what today's buyers want.

But, if you plan to stay for awhile, you'll be selling to older boomers and the children of the boomers. They may have different values and different needs.

Is it possible to guess what the trends will be? You can if history offers any lessons.

Older boomers who buy at 55 and over are likely planning to "age in place." Convenience and safety are foremost. Look for homes with fewer steps or ranch-style designs that don't have the bedrooms upstairs.

If you think your home is better suited for first-time buyers or young families, it's the community that matters. Isolated acres and stately facades will be shunned in favor of convenience to local gathering places, shopping, community theater and a quick walk to the neighbor's house to borrow the cup of sugar.

So, be warned. The dream house of the millennium is almost here and will be bigger than ever. Know what you want - and what you think the next buyer may want.