Samoz°ejm∞ i o prßzdninßch je lidsk² humor (u nßs se tomu °φkß sranda) souΦßstφ ka╛dodennφ p°φtomnosti na Sφti a proto bych se s vßmi - Φtenß°i Linuxov²ch novin - rßd pod∞lil o ·sm∞vnΘ okam╛iky strßvenΘ nad mojφ po╣tovnφ p°ihrßdkou.

ZaΦn∞me v domßcφch luzφch a hßjφch ... Asi nejzajφmav∞j╣φ signaturou v konferenci linux@muni.cz je:

Je libo Win98? - Ne, dφky, poΦkßm si na Win00. signatura Ivo «ßΦka

Ale samoz°ejm∞ i v zahraniΦφ pou╛φvajφ signatury:

LinuxScan report : Win95 virus found on boot sector of primary partititon. Severity : medium, it could halt your computer at random time, corrupt your datas and hard disk or try to be reinstalled every two days. Disinfectant exists, apply (Yes/Yes/Yes) ? Pascal A. Dupuis v linux-kernel@vger.rutgers.edu

PokraΦujme pouze takovou malou zajφmavostφ, kterou m∙╛ete takΘ potkat. Richard B. Johnson, aktivnφ to Φtenß° listu linux-kernel@vger.rutgers.edu, si pov╣iml, ╛e se mu pon∞kud zßhadn∞ zmen╣uje dostupn² diskov² prostor na jeho pracovnφ stanici. Po dlouhΘm pßtrßnφ zjistil nßsledujφcφ v∞c:

# ls -la /var/spool/mail
total 71010
drwxrwxrwx  2 ...       1024 Aug  5 09:22 .
drwxr-xr-x 19 ...       1024 Jul 22 13:29 ..
-rw-------  1 ... 1972425472 Aug  5 09:23 ftp
-rw-------  1 ...          0 Jul 13 12:51 johnson
-rw-------  1 ...          0 Aug  5 09:20 root

Inu spamme°i jsou nevypoΦitatelnφ... Jß jsem m∞l v poslednφ dob∞ takΘ podobnou p°φhodu - Du╣an Dobe╣ (autor ╣achovΘho programu phalanx) si mi st∞╛oval, ╛e na na╣em ╣kolnφm serveru ji╛ nejdou spustit ╛ßdnΘ dal╣φ aplikace (Unable to load interpreter jste ji╛ jist∞ takΘ n∞kdy vid∞li). Po drobnΘm zkoumßnφ jsem zjistil, ╛e program Netscape Communicator se ne dostateΦn∞ dob°e vyrovnal s m²m po╛adavkem na sta╛enφ oficißlnφho image Debianu 2.0 (binary-i386.raw) o velikosti n∞co kolem 600 MB a t∞sn∞ p°ed tφm, ne╛ byl korektn∞ ukonΦen, spot°ebovßval 87% procesorovΘho Φasu a 613 MB pam∞ti.

Na adresu konference lesstif@hungry.com v∞novanou Lesstifu (Pro nezasv∞cenΘ: jednß se o free knihovnu p°φpravk∙, kterß si klade za cφl b²t kompatibilnφ s komerΦnφ knihovnou Motif jak na ·rovni zdrojov²ch text∙, tak na ·rovni vzhledu v²sledn²ch aplikacφ.) poslal n∞jak² tΘm∞° ╣φlen² AmeriΦan vystupujφcφ pod pseudonymem Indl nßsledujφcφ p°φsp∞vek.

why another similar widget set? why not something new, something you have not copied from an american? you have a pompus attitude towards americans, why copy them? why? why? why? I am an american, (your web site states you are some sort of hungarian effort,) I am tired of seeing the same widgets day in and day out, programming with the same ***** widget sets, etc... What is the point? You are quite strange to be only copying some one else's work, ya know. ProΦ dal╣φ takov² soubor p°φpravk∙? ProΦ n∞co dal╣φho, co jste okopφrovali od AmeriΦana? Kdy╛ zaujφmßte k AmeriΦan∙m takov² postoj, proΦ je kopφrujete? ProΦ? ProΦ? ProΦ? Jsem AmeriΦan (vß╣ webov² server na vßs prozrazuje, ╛e va╣e snahy majφ ko°eny v Ma∩arsku) a jsem unaven z toho, ╛e den co den vidφm ty samΘ p°φpravky, pou╛φvßm ty samΘ ***** p°φpravky, atd. Co to je za nßpad? StaΦφte jen na to, abyste kopφrovali n∞Φφ dφlo, co.

Blahoslaveni chudφ duchem. Jeden z nejaktivn∞j╣φch p°isp∞vatel∙ Jon Christopher v╣ak odpov∞d∞l naprosto fam≤zn∞. Jen m∞ p°itom napadlo, jakΘ konce by vzal podobn² ·tok veden² proti Linuxu na linux@muni.cz.

You're absolutely right. We don't want to be doing this, but we're being held prisoner by the Hungarian mafia, and forced to write widget sets. Please help us regain our freedom by contributing code to our effort. And we don't *want* to be pompus to Americans, but the Mafia doesn't like Americans and forces us to say those awful things. Mßte naprosto pravdu. My to d∞lat nechceme, ale jsme v zajetφ ma∩arskΘ mafie, kterß nßs nutφ psßt knihovny p°φpravk∙. Prosφme, pomozte nßm zφskat svobodu tφm, ╛e podpo°φte na╣e dφlo n∞jak²m k≤dem. *Nechceme* b²t proti AmeriΦan∙m, ale mafie je nesnß╣φ a nutφ nßs °φkat takovΘ o╣klivΘ °eΦi.

Kdy╛ jsem Φetl jakousi konferenci, do kterΘ p°i╣el dopis se subjectem "Windows 98 Source code released", nev∞°il jsem (Windows 98 Source Code). Kdy╛ jsem si ale porovnßval zdrojov² text s v²sledkem, uv∞°il jsem...

/* The Win98 source code has been released recently; Per MicroSoft CopyRights, you can only view the code, but should not change it! */ /* TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code Project: Chicago(tm) Projected release-date: Summer 1994 */ #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #define INSTALL = HARD char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; void main() { while(!CRASHED) { display_copyright_message(); display_bill_rules_message(); do_nothing_loop(); if (first_time_installation) { make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); do_nothing_loop(); totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); hang_system(); } write_something(anything); display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); do_some_stuff(); if (still_not_crashed) { display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); basically_run_windows_3.1(); do_nothing_loop(); do_nothing_loop(); } } if (detect_cache()) disable_cache(); if (fast_cpu()) { set_wait_states(lots); set_mouse(speed, very_slow); set_mouse(action, jumpy); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); } /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); if (system_ok()) crash(to_dos_prompt); else system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); while(something) { sleep(5); get_user_input(); sleep(5); act_on_user_input(); sleep(5); } create_general_protection_fault(); }

Pokud sledujete v²voj linuxovΘho jßdra a pr∙b∞╛n∞ si kompilujete novΘ kernely pro svΘ dvou Φi vφceprocesorovΘ stroje (pokud tento text n∞kdo takov² Φte, rßd bych jej po╛ßdal o zam∞stnßnφ :-)) jist∞ jste si pov╣imli, ╛e vßm jßdro 2.1.112 nechodilo zrovna tak, jak byste si p°edstavovali. Inu, co v╣e se mu╛e stßt, kdy╛ pou╛φvßte metodu cut-and-paste pro patchovßnφ kernelu vysv∞tlil Linus Torvalds takto:

That should get 2.1.112 working again (and should teach me not to do final touch-ups on code after I've tested it but before I release it even if those touch-ups look obvious, but it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks...) To by m∞lo verzi 2.1.112 op∞t zprovoznit (a m∞lo by mne to pouΦit, ╛e se u╛ nemßm dot²kat k≤du, kter² jsem u╛ otestoval, ale je╣t∞ nezve°ejnil, i p°esto, ╛e tyto "doteky" mohou b²t z°ejmΘ, ale uΦit starΘho psa nov²m kousk∙m je obtφ╛nΘ...) Linus Torvalds ve vysv∞tlenφ chybiΦky v 2.1.112

A kdy╛ u╛ jsme u Linuse, tak vßm doporuΦφm p°eΦφst si jeden Φlßnek http://www.computerworld.com/home/features.nsf/all/980817linus, kde je Linus citovßn:

I knew I was the best programmer in the world. Every 21-year-old programmer knows that. "How hard can it be, it's just an operating system?" V∞d∞l jsem, ╛e jsem nejlep╣φm programßtorem na sv∞t∞. Ka╛d² programßtor ve v∞ku 21 let to vφ. "Jak to m∙╛e b²t t∞╛kΘ, kdy╛ je to jen operaΦnφ systΘm?" Linus Torvalds

Ale to byla pouze takovß malß odboΦka co se m∙╛e a nem∙╛e stßt. P°φ╣t∞ ji╛ snad budete takΘ na Sφti a p°isp∞jete sv²mi dopisy i do tΘto rubriky Linuxov²ch novin.