Handshake
Hello. Howdy. Greetings. Happy to see you. Salutations. Glad you could come to our party. Please enjoy the nachos and deviled eggs. There are so many ways to greet someone, but I'm a strong believer that everything is in the handshake. It's what tells people more about you than your words ever could. Do you have a firm handshake? A metacarpal-crushing handshake? Or is it one of those flimsy, dead-fish kind of handshakes? Well, humanoids aren't the only ones who have shake hands when they meet. When you log on to your Internet service using a modem, that beeping, buzzing, and clanging you hear coming from your system case is what they call a handshake. Since there are as many modems as there are stars in the sky, handshaking is how two connecting modems agree on which transmission speed to use. It should be noted that modems who know each other personally will just give each other a high-five. Not really. NOTE: connections are only as strong as their weakest link. Meaning, you're never gonna get a 14.4 modem to connect beyond 14.4 -- even when it greets a 28.8.
Haptics
Let's talk about the difference between fantasy and reality for a moment, shall we? Baseball, when played on a computer, is pretty easy. Playing baseball for REAL, however, actually requires physical movement from every body part -- not just your fingers. Plus, you can't really feel the ball smacking the bat or landing in your glove while playing with a PC. Or can you? Why, yes you can -- using something called "haptics." That's just the label given to a digitally-driven physical sensation application. It makes games come alive, and it's also been used for more sophisticated tasks (like surgical training). Wow, I can actually feel my liver being removed. Hey, get away from there. Force feedback ring a bell?
Hashing
When it comes to "hashing," I Just Say No. Oh, that's not what we're talking about? Well, what in the world is it? How about a method in which you assign a string of characters a shorter value for easier location within a database. Huh?! For example, let's say you're in charge of the Secret Santas for the entire Microsoft Corporation (somebody has to do it). You need to search through a database and find certain people. If you use hashing and assign a number to each individual, then it'll be much easier to find that specific name using their (shorter) number than searching by name, which would take longer... and not shorter. There I go again. Presents for everybody, even those of you who don't believe in the man with the red suit. Oh, your real estate agent has a red suit, too? My bad.
Hot Swap
Remember the first scene in "Raiders Of The Lost Ark" when Indiana Jones grabs the idol and tries to replace it with a decoy without setting off any booby traps? That, my friends, was the ultimate "hot swap." You see, in computer terms, that's when you replace a component on your computer while the computer is still running. The computer, however, doesn't realize this; it keeps working as if nothing out of the ordinary is going on. Obviously, this kind of quick exchange should only be tried by someone in the know. Otherwise, your computer will respond by rolling a large boulder at you... or making you star in a very bad sequel. Hot: USB cables. Not-so-hot: serial, SCSI, and parallel cables.
Hotkey
Hotkey? Didn't he define this already? Well, kinda. We touched on this when I defined "function key" for y'all a few issues back. When I say "we," I'm referring to myself and the alter ego who uses words like "y'all." Anyway, he tells me that a "hotkey" is any key (or collection of keys) that perform tasks. They can open programs, save files... whatever. Knowing several "hotkey" shortcuts is one of the many hoops you must leap through to be part of the great geek Olympics. If you've installed the incredibly robust (incredibly free) IrfanView image viewer, you can use the CTRL+SHIFT+I hotkey to launch the program. What have we learned, then? A "shortcut" is what a "hotkey" is used for, and a "function key" is a kind of "hotkey." And the ankle bone's connected to the foot bone... everyone clear on all of this? I knew you were. Dem keys, dem keys, dem... hotkeys.
HTML
This term gets kicked around quite a bit. Most likely because the Web was built on HTML; it is the DNA, the viscera, the innards of the Internet. HTML stands for 'Hypertext Markup Language,' simply put. 'Hypertext' refers to words that had to be put on Prozac. Actually, it's what allows a 'link' to work. Making the jump to hypertext is just like dusting crops, boy. Your Web browser needs this 'language' to determine the placement of Web page elements. Unlike computers on the Jetsons, you can't say: "Put a text blurb over here and stick a picture of Sprocket over there." However, you can say the same thing in 'HTML' and the browser will know what the heck you're talking about. Basic HTML doesn't take too long to learn; as you progress, you can master advanced HTML techniques to make your sites even more amazing. Most users are comfy using WYSIWYG [What You See Is What You Get] editors. Whizzy-whig editors allow you to create complex documents without any programming knowledge. Those wishing to expand their canvas may eventually learn how to manipulate the underlying code. When you stumble upon a web page whose design enthralls you, simply click on 'Source' in the 'View' menu to see the code. It never hurts to learn from the best, but don't copy anything directly. That's stealing. That's bad. That's wrong.
