Daemon
Wasn't that the kid from the movie "The Omen?" What the heck is he doing lurking around on my computer? Trying to possess my soul? Only one creature owns my soul -- and it's this lovely new digital camera... er, I mean, Gretchen. I better change the subject quickly. A daemon handles requests received by a computer system, sending them on to other programs. For instance, a print daemon would handle print requests while freeing up other applications in the process. Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) is a type of daemon on the Web that handles requests from users while they surf the Internet. In other words, daemons are programs that allow programs to run more efficiently. And you're none the wiser (that's the idea). The word is actually pronounced like "demon." Having said that, you can go ahead and put away those garlic cloves. They're meant for vampires, anyway.
Defrag
If you separate the first and last three letters from "defrag," you'd come up with "Def Rag," which would be a pretty cool name for a music magazine. "Have you read the latest issue of Def Rag? You get a free 8-track with every copy." Okay, maybe not. Anyway, when a file is stored on your hard disk, it's often split into separate fragments. You can't see the fragments, and you can't stop this fragmenting from occurring. However, you can "defrag" your system, which just means that you take all those scattered fragments and stick 'em together. This helps free more hard drive space and makes the accessing of files a speedier process. In Windows, the defragmenter is located in your System Tools folder. I've referred to it countless times, y'all. Unless you haven't defragged your ears in a while?
Degauss
Lockergnomie Arvin Djapermal rediscovered the "degauss" function on his PC and suggested it as a GnomeWORD. Heck, that's one less word that I have to come up with. So what is it? "Degaussing" is just another word for "demagnetizing." You see, sometimes magnetic fields build up in your monitor and distort the display. Images look screwy, colors look screwy, and the whole screwy mess looks... you know. Monitors that use the ol' cathode ray tube are subject to this kind of magnetic build up. Luckily, many monitors automatically degauss themselves when they're turned on, so you don't have to worry about it. That initial "ping and click" is supposed to happen; most 17+ inch monitors will do this. Degaussing is also good if you happen to become magnetized by a passing meteor. I saw that on "Amazing Stories" once. Oh, don't ever try to degauss your monitor manually. Magnets BAD.
Device Driver
If you've ever tried to introduce a new pet into a home that already has one, you know they don't always hit it off right away. Anyone who has seen "Tom and Jerry" knows this, right? Well, when you attach a new peripheral to your PC -- like a printer -- your computer and (new) printer have to become acquainted. They do this using software called a "device driver" (or "driver," in its purest form). Windows has a few generic drivers built-in. They help control a specific device as it interacts with the operating system. You'll have one for your printer, your CD burner, your scanner... all of that stuff. When you try connecting something to your computer that it doesn't recognize, the PC will explode. Okay, not really. You'll just have to install the (hopefully provided) driver that goes with the new gizmo. Why is Windows so instable? I hate to say this, but that probably isn't Bill Gates's fault (entirely). Buggy device drivers WILL cause crashes. Stick to name-brand hardware and you should be safe.
Device Manager
You have things attached to your computer. No really -- there are green slugs all over your keyboard right now. It's disgusting. Ah, seriously... you've got a handful of "devices" connected to (and sitting inside) your PC. There's the keyboard, mouse, printer, scanner, digital camera, Webcam, sound card, video card, PDA cradle... all sorts of stuff. So, how do you manage all those separate pieces of hardware? That's right! With your device manager. Quite simply, it's how Windows interacts with your system. It can be found by right-clicking on "My Computer" and selecting "Properties." You can do all the necessary managing from there. Of course, it helps if you know what you're doing, and it never hurts to ask for help. One wrong click and... you could be managing a new computer. NOTE: it's safe to view your devices WITHOUT changing anything.
DirectX
Here comes the hot, new, graphic novel from 'X-Men' creator, Stan Lee. Bitten by a radioactive turtle, mild-mannered Christopher becomes DirectX. Okay, okay... that's not true, but there really should be more radioactive reptiles in comic books, don't you agree? DirectX was designed by Microsoft to make multimedia run better on Windows. Instead of a thousand and one proprietary (unique) programming interfaces, they created a standard for frustrated coders. If you're running a newer version of Windows (and you most likely are), then DirectX may already be installed. If your system is without DirectX, you can always download it from Microsoft's site. In fact, version 8.0 was recently released for all supported platforms. Why should you care about DirectX? Well, you shouldn't... that's the beauty of it. It's like the commercial that says: "We don't make the lipstick; we make it more colorful." Essentially, developers can design applications with DirectX and not have to worry about whether or not your computer has the right stuff. DirectX games can even emulate features your system may not have; your racing sim will have semi-speedy (albeit rudimentary) 3D graphics... even though you may not have a 3D acceleration card. Think of DirectX as a THX Surround Sound theater; everything is provided for you, and you don't have to strap speakers to the sides of your head to get that 'surround sound' experience. Unless, of course, you enjoy that kind of thing.
SIDE NOTE: In my attempt to be cute yesterday, I changed 'Bob' to 'Moe' in the 'FTP' GnomeWORD (to parallel 'Larry,' while leaving 'Curly' completely out of the story). Anyway, I only changed one instance, which may have caused some confusion. Mind if we call him 'Bruce?' Ah, anyway... change 'Bob' to 'Moe' or 'Moe' to 'Bob' and everything should be peachy. Another correction: while anonymous is a common username for FTP sites, the corresponding password is typically an e-mail address (valid or not).
Dithering
When we defined RGB for ya a few days ago, it was mentioned that Macs and PCs don't always see colors the same way when it comes to their respective browsers. So, what happens when a browser comes across a color it doesn't know? That's easy. It explodes. No, actually, it uses a process called "dithering" to stir up a suitable substitute for the missing shade. How? It combines colors until it finds a suitable match. The outcome isn't always perfect, but a browser has to use what it's got. Dithering shouldn't be confused with Dagwood's boss, Mr. Dithers. He's probably done in CMYK. Anyway, you may also see this term used in graphics applications. When you shrink an image's palette, dithering may be used to retain a fair amount of visual quality.
DivX
All aboard the Digital Video Express!! With stops in Des Moines, and Fargo! Sorry about that, but Divx does stand for "Digital Video Express," and that is what today's term is all about. Okay, imagine renting a DVD from your local video store (because you're an up-to-date kind of guy/gal). Now, imagine you never have to return it. Sounds awesome, eh? Here's the clincher: you only have so long to watch the disk, and if you need more time, you have to pay. Odd? Perhaps, but when you get down to it it's not much different than renting normally. Of course, the whole pay-per-play concept doesn't sit well with many people. There are two sides to every story, and I hate being caught in the middle. That's why I never stay there very long. If Divx sounds intriguing, you'll need a DVD player that's equipped for it. But don't rush out TOO soon -- the format is pretty much dead and gone. You may also see this term floating around media sites. In this context, 'DivX' is a video compression format (for high quality videos).
DMA
"DMA" stands for "Direct Memory Access" and refers to the capability of data to be transferred from a peripheral or attached device directly to the system RAM. Yeah, so? Well, this way the microprocessor is excused from its duties (at least in this instance), which speeds up the overall operation, cause everything is done instantaneously. Basically, specific amounts of memory are set aside in your system for direct memory access. It's kind of your systems way of telling the microprocessor to take a break. "Don't worry, I'll get this one." Yeah, it's kind of like that. There are a limited number of DMA channels available in a system, and no two devices can occupy the same channel, or chaos will surely ensue.
Dongle
A few days back, we defined Divx for ya. Many wrote in saying that particular technology had gone the way of the dodo. True, but at least I expanded your vocabulary, if by only one word. Here's another device that isn't used as frequently anymore, either (if at all): the dongle. Ya see, a dongle is a mechanism that allows only authorized users access to a specific application. One dongle might plug into a parallel port, while others are simply registration numbers. Companies don't always like having their ports compromised, so dongles aren't used as much anymore. You do see them on occasion, particularly with high- dollar engineering software packages, and at least now you'll know what the heck it is when you hear the term.
DOS
Think back. Think waaaay back. Remember a time before the Windows interface? For today's digital kids, the idea of having a computer without some kind of GUI is absurd. Absurd I say! Ahem. Anyway, before we had Windows, there was DOS. It stands for "Disk Operating System." Remember the C:\ prompt? You would have to enter your commands from the keyboard. The mouse used to be... virtually useless. You can still access a command prompt ("DOS session") via your Start menu, if you're so inclined. I did touch on DOS briefly when I explained "command line interface" (because that's what DOS is). You see, everything ties together. The circle is completing itself. That will be the final lesson for today, young Gnomehopper.
Download / Upload
I just got my hands on some cool new freeware. Wait a second... did I just download or upload it? Did I load it at all? Do I need a pay loader? This whole thing is a load of... okay, so you want to know the difference between downloading and uploading? Let's pretend that you do. You see all these URLs in Lockergnome that end in "EXE" or "ZIP" -- those are files. When you grab a file from a remote server, you're downloading. In other words, you're receiving a program from another source (computer). If you want to put a file on a remote system, you'll have to upload it first. Transfer it from your computer to someone else's. You gotta GET downloads, you gotta GIVE uploads. Up and down, up and down... it's all about sharing. You download messages FROM your friends, you upload messages TO your friends. I have no friends, so you can imagine how long this process takes me.
DSL
I know the feeling. You're waiting for a picture or video to load and it's taking FOR-E-VER. At one point, you actually start shaking your monitor (like that's going to make the pixels appear faster). If you've grown tired of your 56K connection -- and believe me, geeks like myself tire of it rather quickly -- you may be looking into getting yourself a cable modem. But alas, your area doesn't have cable Internet just yet. Do not fret, my bandwidth-hungry followers. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... maybe. Don't you hate that word -- "maybe?" Some phone companies offer a service known as DSL, or "Digital Subscriber Line." This service isn't offered everywhere, unfortunately, but it is worth asking about if you want a speedier connection. Without getting too terribly technical (who, me?) -- DSL is set up on regular phone lines, but it provides access to much more bandwidth than a traditional dial-up connection. See? Now stop shaking your monitor, it ain't an Etch-A-Sketch, ya know.
Duel Boot
Dual boot. Ya know, that's when you and a boot have a gunfight outside the saloon at high noon. "This here shoe store ain't big enough for the both of us." Actually, that's not quite right. Ya see, a "dual boot system" is a computer where two operating systems are installed at the same time. Sure, for most people running one operating system is plenty, but you know how us geeks are. Let's say you have a computer running both Windows 2000 and Windows 98. Usually, when you turn the computer on, the operating system would load, and you'd be ready to go. However, with a dual boot system, you would see a boot manager program that would allow you to choose which operating system you want to use. You'll notice I didn't use Windows ME in this example. Geez, you'd think I have something against that OS. Oh wait, I do.
