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Hello? Internet?
I've been waiting for a long time and now everything seems to be arranged
perfectly. Specialized magazines, FAQs and finally that one thing, whithout
which everything else has no value: the microphone. Bought especially for
that moment, full of anxiety, as if I'll be meeting a very handsome businessman
with the looks of Harrison Ford. But the microphone came without instructions.
First tests - no sound. Microphone? No answer. Testing it, I lifted it
up and... surprise! Down there, at the bottom, a place for two batteries.
How stupid of me! But, now it works. Hello, hello! The microphone is now
ok. Now, it's only a matter of choosing the software, downloading it and...
With so many different kinds of software to choose from, the right thing
to do is to go to the most famous: Iphone. No, no way, this test version
of Iphone allows only one minute of talking, and you would agree with me
that I have so many things to say to the rest of the world, it would be
impossible to do so in a minute. So, I took the Cyberphone. I liked its
name and also its claims: "excellent sound quality, and appears to
be a pretty application." Let's try the beta version.
Everything is now arranged. First call: a guy named Jason. Remember
"Friday, the 13th?". "Hello, Jason. How are you?" Silence.
"Hello, Jason. Can you hear me?" (Pay attention to my good english)
"Jason? Please, Does anybody hear me?" At this point, I was thinking
about Fred Krugger when I saw a word blinking on my screen:"text".
I clicked it. It was a message from Jason. He could hear me very well and
seemed to be enchanted by my voice. The problem was that he didn't have
a microphone. What a pain in the neck! I'm sure I didn't go through all
this to talk with a guy unable to answer me. Never mind, I won't be rude.
Do you know what, Jason? It's that I just bought the microphone and I wanted
to see if it really works. Ok? Silence and again the word blinked. He was
very sorry but didn't want to stop chatting. "How are you?" Talking
away... "How old are you?" Uh, here he goes. One thing I learned
from the Internet: 80% of the men who ask about a woman's age right away
are younger than 14. Logout. Login. And Jason still there. Until a magic
buttom smiled at me: hang out. Goodbye, Jason.
Now, I can finally play with my new toy. I can't say that it was emotionless
even though many times the sound arrived in pieces. Next time, maybe I'll
try another kind of software, that only permit users with microphone.
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