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Turnabout

There, a startled deer
Bounds across meadows, fearing
I'll hunt or lure it.

But my dreams of it are kind;
Resting my hands in its pelt...

I grow hooves and horns,
prancing through the deep forest
with my doe-eyed love.

Who wins? Who loves? Who loses?
Does she lead me, or I her?

There, in deep places,
We join in an ancient dance;
Desire drives out dread.

Later, from the forest edge;
See her wave and walk away.

I toss my antlers.
I too will forget my past,
await miracles.

(6 July 1999)

The form is that of a renga, or linked series of tankas (haiku-like verses of 5, 7, and 5 syllables linked by pairs of 7-syllable lines). However, it was written solo, and I blithely ignored the traditional content rules of the form.

I like Japanese poetic forms because they force one to say much with little. In this case, the form of the poem was also a message to the woman to whom it was addressed.


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Eric S. Raymond <esr@snark.thyrsus.com>