AM News Abuse
http://www.amnewsabuse.com/

Odd-news junkies and weird-fact fans are sure to become AM News Abuse addicts after their first taste. Each day, a dozen or so new news blurbs are added to the site or delivered to your e-mail inbox. Here's a typical example: "No No Not From Ze Top You Eediot: The latest rad fashion (from Europe) is extra-long pants, turned up just once, but way up, almost to the knee." Or how about this one: "Snug Thug Bugs Chug Drugs: The CA Board of Health, alarmed at a 30% rise in head lice cases, reports the possible emergence of a strain of 'super-lice' resistant to today's drugstore products." Strange, but true. Ripley would be proud. - David Pescovitz


The Barbie Chronicles
http://www.erols.com/browndk/

One man's meat is another man's poison, they say, and apparently one man's art is another man's serotonin imbalance. Pathologically cute, the Barbie Chronicles is not so much a deconstruction of consumerist sexism and childhood indoctrination as it is an absurd elevation of Barbie (probably among the leading causes of bulimia and cosmetic surgery in North America) to priceless work of art. Just as Roy Lichtenstein achieved fame by tracing and enlarging comic book illustrations and hanging them in galleries, this catalog of photographic collages plops the ever-pliable Barbie into paintings by such master artists as Manet, Gauguin, Wyeth, Duchamp, and Goya. The cumulative effect is similar to a particularly incongruous and deadpan shaggy dog story. - Gary Barker


The Death Clock
http://www.speedoflight.com/techs/ray/death/

"Welcome to the Death Clock, the Internet's friendly reminder that no matter where you go, someone is counting the seconds away until you die." How creepy. How intriguing. Put in your birth date and hit one of three buttons-death clock, pessimistic, or sadist-and you'll get three personalized death dates, complete with the number of seconds you've got left to live. The obituaries page allows you to check the projected death dates of various public figures, including Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton, and David Duchovny. - Emily Soares


How to Talk New Age
http://www.well.com/user/mick/newagept.html

S is for sex, Shirley Maclaine, and Sufi, and on this site, you'll learn what they have in common. The author promises that "after reading this document just three times, you should be well-prepared to pass yourself off as a New Age Person at any cocktail party." In, fact, thanks to the design of the site, done "according to ancient mystical principles," you'll probably start to become New Age after four readings. I swear, it's all there. The site is full of revelation and enlightenment. "(New Age) people use crystals to make contact with higher intelligences. People who pay that kind of money for rocks obviously need contact with higher intelligences." Clever and caustic, the site will certainly do wonders for its creator's karma. - Emily Soares


Burlingame Museum of Pez Memorabilia
http://www.spectrumnet.com/pez/

Based in Burlingame, Calif., The Museum of Pez Memorabilia is the center for candy-dispenser collectors. Even if you're on the other coast (or another continent), you can view the Yappy Dog and She-saur Pez-a-saur, study the Pony-Go-Round, and consider the Psychedelic Eye dispenser. You can even drop serious cash ($75) for the rare Captain Hook dispenser. Don't worry that there's no "flavorvision" for you to enjoy the sweets themselves; when it comes to Pez, the packaging is the product. - David Pescovitz


DreamTech International
http://www.d-b.net/dti/

When it's time for me to clone a loved one, I'm going to head straight to DreamTech International and hand over my credit card. After all, the company is the "first and largest life duplication provider"; it maintains "fully-owned labs in Costa Rica, Liberia, and Vanuatu"; and it owns "an extensive roster of qualified surrogate birthing candidates." If you're still nervous about incorporating cloning into your own family planning, read Mr. Alfred Herndon's testimonial for reassurance. This ugly man and his eyesore wife were afraid to have children, until they paid a visit to DreamTech International and realized they could give birth to a beauty. Out of the company catalog, the couple chose to clone Miss Italy '88 for their daughter. "Now," Herndon says, "thanks to my beautiful daughter, my life is full of joy!!" Wait a minute ... is this some kind of a joke?!? - David Pescovitz


Selective Beginnings: Herpes Dating Service
http://www.herpesworld.com/

Started by Al Porco, a 34-year-old guy with herpes, this herpes dating referral service will surely come in handy for single people afflicted with the virus. The following statement from Porco explains the services goals and exemplifies a common feeling among those people living with herpes: "I do not look forward to telling a would-be companion about having herpes, and to be very honest I do not want to ask someone to take the risk of getting close to me." The service costs $149.95 for a Six-Month Membership and $99.95 for a Three-Month Membership. Initial communication between interested parties takes place via a 900 number and an anonymous e-mailer. - David Pescovitz


9 and 2
http://www.primalpub.com/9and2/

In the spirit of "In/Out, Hot/Not, Tired/Wired" lists, 9 and 2 features a daily, pithy column of cultural criticism that juxtaposes one idea, trend, or subject against another. Examples: Baby Ascot ("The ascot doubles as a bib") vs. Baby Headband ("Other parents inflict their own bad clothing tastes upon their female newborns"); Alternative Medicine ("Herbs, proper diets, exercise and mental health should be stressed, not expensive pills and powders") vs. Claritin & Seldane ("Claritin is the Heaven's Gate of allergy medicines"). File this one under "daily chuckles" in your list of Bookmarks. - David Pescovitz