NrrdGrrl! Mailbag



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"You've read my mind!! I'm a NrrdGrrl and I'm proud! I've always been different, never agreed with what was "supposed" to be...am learning to take pride in all those "dirty" words they've called me...bitch, freak, feminist, dork, geek, liberal, loser. Take pride in whoever you are and don't listen to anyone else!!!"

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"My mom throws in my face all the time about how I'm so much bigger than my 24 year old sister and I'm 18. It gets so hard for me sometimes to even look at myself without thinking I'm fat. I know I'm not, but when everyone looks at me as the larger one out of me and my sister, it can get deppressing. I hate to feel this way and then my roomates always say that they wish they had my body. I feel guilty either way. It is a wierd situation but I love this place and I will definitly come back. Thanks!"

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"Found your site interesting, not because it rejects 'society's' view of what women should be (that, too, has become the party line), but because you seem to understand that people were meant to be DIFFERENT, not clones. The problem is conformity, which is neither something new nor something unique to our society.

What I don't understand, however, is why you even care what 'people' think of you. Why not just do want you want, and to hell with anyone who disapproves (assuming you're not harming anyone) ?

In this sense you're right - you're not like my sister(s). They have both inherited the family tendency to shoot one's mouth off first and worry about the consequences later - a 'career limiting' attitude perhaps, but one that leads to a less stressful life.

On a final note, some of the letters did seem to be tending towards the point of view that beauty is bad, something imposed on women. This strikes me as silly in view of the fact the Women's magazines are bought by WOMEN, so they will invariably reflect women's interests, or go out of business. As for advertising, if it were as effective as claimed most men would be chasing tatooed and body-pierced women (the current rage among the trendy morons who design ads). Fact is, most men find such 'women' extremely repulsive, and no amount of advertising will change that.

As for skinny, tall, short, smart, dumb, etc.., just about any woman within the normal range of human variation will be considered 'attractive' by some men, regardless of the fashion of the day. The only problem is, most of those men will not exactly look like Schwartznegger or have Bill Gates' bank account! Which may be the real complaint here (I am not pretty enough = The guys who are interested in me are not cool enough, smart enough, etc ...)"

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"Aha! Wow. Being a 15 year old girl I can say that most people really look down on us, a really, I don't blame them, because practically everyone I know is really ditsy and stupid and only cares about a few things in life-- boys, dates, make-up,dances... I've found high school to be a joke and and the people are fake. I am extremely proud to be what I am, an irish woman who likes art and is good at biology. I can accept myself, why can't THEY? It is my beleif that women are responsible for what they are and if we want respect, we should demand it, not giggle and shirk away. I love your manifesto"
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"I finally got off my ass and joined the local chapter of the National Organizaon for Women. (It's not your mom's NOW any more.) Have you ever noticed how many contridictions riddle the pages of "women's" magazines? At our last chapter meeting, we heard from a women who is a professor specializing in eating disorders in women. She made the following amazing observations:

-Only 10% of all women can or do have the body type that is common for all fashion models. 10%!!!

-Thirty years ago, fashion models and actresses were 3% thinner than the average woman. Today, they are 23% thinner.

-Those fashion models and actresses with the tall, willowy bodies? Large breasts are not natural for their body types. Chances are, they're fake.

So why, then, is this the type of body held up to women as "beautiful," "normal," and "desirable?"

I'm not a "feminazi." I'm simply a woman, trying to cope with unattainable stereotypes, hoping to like my body despite the fact that I'm not 5'10" and 125 lbs. Wanting to change the way that all humans are perceived -- as individuals."

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"People tell me, constantly,that I am too intense, too moody, and of course, far too silly.... They even go so far as to tell me, I am thin-skinned (huh?). Some people think I am too nice, others think i am too contradictory... What I would like to know is WHY do they feel it so very necessary to EVEN tell me!!!?? huh? I am MEEEEEEEE! HELLO?! No advice, response, suggestions, or whatever, required... Let me just be ME,OK? "

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