I think the Nrrdgrrl site is great. I've been reading all the postings in the Mailbag, and I agree with all the things they say; how women shouldn't feel pressured to conform to the media's impossible ideals of what they should be, and how they shouldn't have to feel like there's something wrong with them if they can't.However, I think it's useless to always go around being angry at those who criticize us all the time and the so-called faceless "media" that supposedly dictates how American women should look, dress, act and think. Yes, they can be a pain in the ass, but why should we have to take them so seriously? It's not like they dominate our whole lives. If we react too strongly to what they're saying about us, we're placing too much value in it. And I really don't think they or their opinions of us are that worthy of our respect.
I've certainly had my share of people (parents, classmates, teachers, etc.) who told me I was "too this" or "too that." I went to school with kids who thought I was "too different." I've had girls gang up on me and bitch about me behind my back because I didn't have a boyfriend and/or wasn't wearing the right clothes. Several people told me I was "too flat-chested" (I don't think my breasts are so small). People thought I had "too much attitude" (they were probably right about that). In high school I tried to fit into cliques and never succeeded, and was always picked last for the volleyball team in gym class.
But in my experience, I found that a lot of those people who hated me so much tended to be uninteresting, and a lot of times rather pathetic. They were good at following rules and doing what they were told and not much else. They didn't think a whole lot. And the world is full of people like this-- busybodies who love to criticize and judge those they perceive as "different" or "problematic" because they're too weak and feeble-minded to do anything more interesting themselves. I do admit those experiences hurt me back then. But I also feel that they've made me stronger. When I look back on it now I can't help feeling that if I saw any of those kids today, and they tried to put me down for not dating a guy who drove the right kind of car, I'd probably laugh in their faces.
I think one of the biggest problems American women have is caring too much what other people think of them. I've certainly been guilty of that myself. But I don't think it helps a whole lot. Why not just ignore those dummies who love telling us what they think is "wrong" with us, even when they supposedly mean well, enjoy life, and do what you want, regardless of their sermons? And as for the advertising and the fashion magazines, who the fuck CARES? If you like dressing like those models, fine, but if you don't, the "media" is NOT going to get you.
How big a finger do you think should be pointed at the media for the way you think and feel about yourself and others? Send e-mail to Grrowl! and let us know! Responses will be published in Toothmarks.