Ben* and I began going out in the ninth grade. He split up with me for no apparent reason. I (foolishly) thought that I'd get him back with some ol' fashioned jealousy. It didn't work. Ben got with Kristy*, and I was stuck with an abusive boyfriend for 8 months, whom I'll call Mick. Kristy and Ben didn't last long, and once Mick and I split, i hoped Ben and I would rekindle our relationship. We had sparks...we'd steal kisses, even say he regretted what he did.
Ok, this is what we call hormones. Thingsa that are a complete pain in the arse and we cant get rid of no matter how hard we try. Are you really good friends with "Ben"? If your friends you should tell him how you feel and get out in the open.
That was 4 years ago. I still find Ben alarmingly cute, even now I'm engaged to a guy i've been with for two years. I often see Ben or hear of him. I love my current Boyfriend to pieces, but I can't help but wonder...what would have happened? If I hadn't met Jason, would I have still be lusting and hoping for Ben back?
Ben has a girlfriend, Lisa. Not terribly attractive or witty. But she does have this charisma. She seems to be on Ben's wavelength.
Ben is too immature for me anyway. Jason and I plan things. Ben would rather jump into a complete unknown.
I guess, I just wanted to get it all out. No-ne knows I still find Ben attractive. But I know I don't love him. If I loved him, I would be making an effort.
By Babe on Tuesday, October 20, 1998 - 10:55 am:
Actually on second thoughts, dotn even go there. Tell soemone like your best friend or soemone close to you, it might help