I want to lose weight, but...


NrrdGrrl! Discussion Forum: Just Plain Talk: I want to lose weight, but...
By Jabberwocky on Friday, August 7, 1998 - 03:06 pm:

I really want to lose weight. Not for all the superficial reasons, but for myself. But I want to be able to eat what I want, and I don't do too well with exercise unless I can do it in the house. Does anyone have any ideas, or anything that worked for them?


By Endora on Friday, August 7, 1998 - 09:53 pm:

Do something you enjoy. If you're going to use exercise equipment, consider whether you prefer a bicycle or a treadmill. Also, jump roping is good exercise.

If you're like me & need distraction, make a really lively music tape or watch tv while you're exercising (or read a book on the bicycle--I see people doing this in the gym all the time). The key is to associate exercise w/something you really enjoy.

As for eating, focus on moderation, not deprivation. I fell into bad habits again when I went back to school, but I find I feel best if I try to balance my meals. For example, tomorrow night I'm going out to a restaurant that has good chicken cutlet parmigana. I'm going to have a couple of glasses of wine & dessert too. To compensate, I'm going to eat a salad for lunch.

For awhile I was doing really well w/this & lost about 50 lbs. However, when I went back to school, my schedule got busy (I work full-time, go to school part-time) & I slacked off on exercise, etc. & gained about 35 of it back. I recently started a new job, which includes a gym discount as part of the benefits. I've only got 3 more courses to go (2 fall, 1 spring), so I'm going to work on healthier habits.

The key is NOT TO DIET. That's how I got so heavy in the first place. I was about 140 (height is 5'8), when I went through some personal problems, which I dealt w/by overeating. When I hit 160, I got scared & tried to diet, but I'd get hungry & binge. This behavior pushed my weight up to 180. I would have been much better off eating moderately to bring my weight back down.


By Shampoo on Sunday, August 9, 1998 - 05:57 pm:

i'm gaining weight. i'm not very happy about it, cuz keeping my weight down has always been a struggle and now i have to go through it all over again.


By Ranma on Wednesday, August 12, 1998 - 08:30 pm:

Is this like a subconcious thing for you grrls or something? Because, personally, although I am among the blessed who can eat whatever they want and never gain an inch on my waist, I have never so much as though about my weight, whatever I'm at is always fine with me.


By Shampoo on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 03:03 am:

ranma i wish i had your metabolism or something. you have no clue how luck you are. you and the rest of the eat-whatever-they-wanters out there!! it's just not that easy.

we all want to look good and feel good about ourselves. and for most people it means having a nice body. and for a lot of girls (me included), having that body is a fight each and every day. for some reason, girls are socially expected to look their best every single day, while guys can basically throw on jeans and a t-shirt and no one would care. they could be a few pounds overweight and no one would care. but if a girl is a little bit pudgy, she automatically gets called terrible names by people.

i wish i could say that whatever i'm at was good for me, but unfortunately it's not. because i want a nice body and i like looking nice and getting compliments and glances and stuff... you know... if i was what i was a few years ago i would feel aweful about myself now.

everyone always assumes that i wear make up and dress nice and keep up my body to please other people. but it's not, it's to please myself so i can feel better about myself!


By Kate on Monday, August 17, 1998 - 08:23 am:

Hey, Im more than a bit pudgy, in fact Im pretty fat but I dont get called terrible names. I really do think that women who are overweight (or think that they are overweight at 130lbs!) give themselves a hard deal by being so conscious of what they look like and apologise for it all the time.

For your info, Im 26, weigh over 200lbs (about 14stone English style) and Im very fit, and very much loved by my friends and my boyfriend. At 18, I gave up dieting because I spent too much time and effort doing it. I wanted to concentrate on my degree and having fun at university. So I did, and havent looked back for 8 years.

Stop concentrating so hard on your body. Enjoy wearing nice clothes (I do, I love clothes shopping) People on the street really dont give a damn about how you look when you're 10-20 even 40lb "overweight" you just look normal to them. And remember that as you get older it does get easier. People think less of appearences and more of content of brain and sense of humour

Just my 2pence worth, hope it helps


By Endora (formerly known as Lee) on Monday, August 17, 1998 - 09:54 pm:

Good Advice & Well Said!

Kate,

How's the summer been going? Did you take a break from your studies or are you still working on the dissertation? I'm taking a break from my studies until early Sept.


By Kate on Tuesday, August 18, 1998 - 12:12 pm:

Lee/Endora

Nice to see you (?!) again on the board. The summer is going sloooowly as Im about the only person around in the department. Everyone else has disappeared on holiday.
Still working, but it sometimes feels a bit like banging my head on a brick wall. Did the major piece of work OK though.

Anyway, back on topic - I think it is so sad to see girls who are very beautiful agonising over a few pounds. Get out and live your life. Have fun, do mad things and sod the consequences. Don't delay your life until you have lost that magical "few pounds". It may never happen and meanwhile life passes you by.

Be yourself, dont be moulded by people with a down on you

Kate


By Endora on Tuesday, August 18, 1998 - 09:20 pm:

Okay, I know I posted the URL to this monologue from the movie Beautiful Girls a few months back, but I thought I do it again for the newcomers. It's given by Rosie O'Donnell's character. Besides I think I finally have this linking stuff right, so it should be a direct link :-) The site is done by a student who's posted some of his favorite movie monologues & dialogues.

Monologue


By Que_ on Thursday, August 20, 1998 - 03:03 pm:

Endora: I read that monologue back when you posted the URL...I loved it so much I posted it on my webpage for a while. The things that rosie's character says in there is just so much what I think of every time guys oogle over girls in magazines.

ABout losing weight...I am a firm believer that the best way to feel better about your body is to exercise. I don't mean excessively, but just enough so that you can honestly say to yourself that you are being active. Also, eating right, by avoiding foods that you know very well won't make you feel good. I don't mean you should avoid them like the plague, just try and eat them in moderation.

Anyways, this has been my method for feeling good about myself. I was born with a body type naturally prone to having more muscle. I could NEVER be skinny, because there's too much muscle under my skin. I used to interpret that as being fat, but now I am proud of my strength, and aim to define those muscles more, instead of aiming to make them go away, which is essentially what you're doing if you go on a diet alone.

But I"m not a dietician, that's just my personal experience.


By Shampoo on Friday, August 21, 1998 - 02:49 pm:

i don't have a lot of muscle, i'm not a very strong person. my biceps are pretty hard, but there's no strength in them, i'm such a weak person!!! my 10 year old brother can kick my butt, it's so sad.


By Adee on Friday, August 28, 1998 - 07:04 pm:

He-he, I'm weak too! It's horrible because my guy friends will all kick my butt and I can't defend myself! It's okay though, I still love 'em. I'm a eat anything don't gain weight person, but lately I've been eating way too much junkfood, and I've gained a couple pounds. I don't care much though, and I hate to excersise so all I do if I'm feeling a little bit bloated is dance. I love to dance, I just put on MTV or BET and dance along with the videos. And at school in my classes me and my freinds dance with each other. For me it's the perfect exercise, it's fun, you can do it anywhere, it don't cost nothing, and it keeps my weight at bay, and all you need is music.(or if you're feeling good you can even try it without, although personally I suck at that!)


By Gilmoure on Saturday, August 29, 1998 - 01:00 am:

Hey Shampoo,

In another topic, I mentioned taking up Kung Fu. I just got back from my 6th class. at the first one, I could barely do 10 push-ups. Now, I can breeze through 40 (sweating llike crazy). There is a 14yr old girl there that's been taking it for a while and she can kick my ass (I'm 30, been in the military, had to guard POWs in Saudi). It's all a manner of time and energy spent learning stuff. Just about any martial art will help build strength. Just check out the class and make sure that it's laid back and such and not one of those macho, keep at it until you die type of places. Hope this helps,

G


By Gilmoure on Saturday, August 29, 1998 - 01:17 am:

Hey Endora!

Love the monologue! As a guy who's eye is caught by Rosie (loved her in that baseball movie with Gina Davis) and similar women, I have to speak up. There are some of us men out here who are attracted to women with curves, who are soft to hold and fun to go out to dinner with. I enjoy a good meal and like to see that who I'm with is having a good time too. And yeah, I know it's Playboy and Madison avenue throwing this stuff at both men and women. I'm tired of it. I got a Playboy as part of a trade for some computer work I did. I looked through it at home and guess what. It didn't do it for me. None of the women looked real i.e like someone I could meet and have a fun time with. Let me go to the beach and see regular women (heavier and curvier than you'll see in any magazine) and my intrest is peaked, so to speak.

Yeah, I look like your average working guy. Nothing too outstanding or memorable. I remember what it was like in high school, going up to some girl with perfect hair, teeth, everything and getting snubbed or laughed at. Quickly learned that regular people (of which most people are regular, average people-that's what makes it 'average') are cooler and more laid back. Not so full of themselves. Oh ewll, am venting again. The thing is, with guys, you can't really go on about this stuff. They will immidiately make a joke or something. Thanks for welcoming a guy here.

G


By Shampoo on Monday, August 31, 1998 - 02:51 am:

i can barely do 2 push-ups it's that bad. in fact, i can't even do one properly. my gym teacher was never very happy with me cuz of that. but i like dancing, can be pretty good at it when i feel like it and want to be. my legs are pretty strong i think. i actually wanted to check out those martial arts places, but my parents wouldn't let me. my dad wants me to be all lady like and crap like that and thinks that martial arts supports violence. he doesn't seem to understand that a lot of that kinda stuff can be used for my own protection. i want to know how to defend myself and i want the ability to do so! the strength and all. i reaaaally wanna be one of those strong girls who play a lot of sports and have all the muscle definition. and i'm sick of having to ask for help whenever i need to do something strenuous like lifting or pulling or something. i want to be able to do it all myself!!


By Gilmoure on Monday, August 31, 1998 - 08:30 am:

Soon, you'll be out from under his thumb and able to do what you like. As for violnece, if anything, they teach control and conflict avoidence. Also, I've only started doing this since I turned thirty. It's not like there is any race. In the mean time, try just doing one or two push ups a morning when you first get up. AFter a while, they get easier.

G


By Gilmoure on Monday, August 31, 1998 - 08:54 pm:

Hey Shampoo,

Please email me. It's about some stuff that you should know about. You should know how to deal with it. Thanks,

G

gilmoure@blackstar.eckerd.edu


By Endora on Monday, August 31, 1998 - 09:02 pm:

Some of the dance studios near here offer martial arts classes. Do any near you do so? Maybe you can take a class there & just tell your dad it's a dance class (as long as he's not expecting to see a recital :-)

It's too bad phys ed classes spend so much time on team sports to the exclusion of most other things. When I was in high school (80-84), the girls would take dance as a phys ed elective while the guys would take weight classes as a phys ed elective. Schools should offer more variety in phys ed. How many times can one play softball? Especially if you're uncoordinated like me. The only time I ever caught the damn ball was when it hit me in my chest!


By Gilmoure on Tuesday, September 1, 1998 - 12:15 am:

Hear hear!

I sucked at team sports (same time frame Endora) and am really not competitive in the conventional sense. I do enjoy working aganst myself and seeing how well I can be at something (still not that coordinated but so what, it's fun). Oh well, back to school work.

G


By Endora on Tuesday, September 1, 1998 - 08:05 pm:

I think they should split up gym classes by ability, etc. This way the coordinated people wouldn't get mad at the ones who aren't. Believe it or not, one girl actually tried to push me down a flight of stairs because she didn't like the way I played basketball!

As for the variety thing, is it getting any better in schools today? Do they have any weight training classes for girls or is that still a guy thing?

My negative phys ed experiences used to keep me from trying anything new athletically, but eventually I realized how silly that was. It takes me a long time to catch onto something new athletically. If the instructor's good & patient, I'll eventually pick it up.

I took a rollerblading lesson & finally caught on to the side to side concept. When skiing or skating, I'd been trying to do the same front to back motion I do when I walk. No wonder I couldn't stay upright ! :-) The speed factor on rollerblades still scares me a bit, I think I'm going to try ice skating during the winter to get more comfortable w/skating at a slower pace. Then in the Spring, I can try the rollerblading thing again.


By Endora on Tuesday, September 1, 1998 - 08:10 pm:

Oops, make that back to front (heel-to-toe) motion w/walking, that's what I meant. Next, I'll progress to walking & chewing gum at the same time :-)


By Shampoo on Thursday, September 3, 1998 - 07:32 pm:

endora: at my school, we do weight training as a unit along with sports stuff like basketball and softball, plus dance and other stuff. both girls and boys do the same thing.


By Endora on Thursday, September 3, 1998 - 08:48 pm:

That's good! Glad to see things are changing :-)

Anyway, going back to the whole weight/image thing, here's an article I thought people might find interesting:

Size Matters (an article from the NY Daily News)


By Gilmoure on Thursday, September 3, 1998 - 09:00 pm:

I wonder if I should fill out one of her boyfriend forms?

G


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