I DON'T COOK

by Tamara Hudson



Don t get me wrong, I could cook if I had a desire to do so. Fact is, I don t. To me, it's a task that s necessary, like taking out the garbage. And it's just about as exciting. I would rather do the dishes than prepare a meal.

I say that cooking is necessary when what I actually mean is that eating is necessary. I take great pleasure in that aspect of it - unless I cooked it! Not that it is inedible, mind you, but there's something about spending all that time with the food that turns me off even wanting to consume any of it.

My husband and I worked out a bargain when we first got married (remember that first nightmare year of marriage where all the ground rules had to be determined), he would do the cooking and I would be responsible for cleaning up the mess.

His mother says he raised me wrong since he let me get by with never cooking. I consider it from a different point of view - he s very well trained! He has perfected the craft over our 16 years of marriage. He goes through different styles of cooking like I go through different genre of books. Right now he's into cooking in the wok. He stays with a particular cuisine until he's very good at it and moves on. His cookbook collection rivals my reference library!

When our children were in kindergarten they had to learn that Daddy cooking the meals is not the typical occurrence in most households. Picture association tests where they are supposed to connect the object with the person that performs the task were all screwed up according to their teacher. The pots and pans went with Daddy; the computer went with Mom, etc. Of course, now that the boys are 11 and 8 they are able to cook meals for themselves, since Mom doesn't cook and Dad is not always home. See, I raised them right, too. Some lucky women are going to thank me.

Do you know what kind of looks I get when I tell people I don't cook? At first they just laugh it off thinking I mean I don't cook all the time. When I explain that my husband does ALL the cooking, I get the message that they think I'm something freakish like that green mold growing in the refrigerator. And I get this from both sexes, which really puzzles me sometimes.

All the working women I know get tired of trying to figure out what's for dinner. They like to cook special treats for Christmas and other holidays, but generally, they get tired of the same old routine. So why do they consider me next to worthless because I don't participate?

Maybe they are jealous. They would love to never HAVE to cook again, but know that it would be about as possible as their being on the next space shuttle mission.

I would dearly love to know if I am some mutant form of my sex or if there are others out there who can get away with never cooking. Cooks need not respond.

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