Sorry.

"I said I was sorry, what else do you want," he said.

Those words just seem so empty to me. Why is he sorry? I do not really think he's sorry for anything he's done. He's sorry because I have confronted him. If he were truly sorry for what he did-- he wouldn't have done it. I feel like he is patronizing me when he rattles off these empty words. The reasons he's saying them are bad enough but I dont need to be insulted on top of it.

I'll tell you what I want. I want action. Sorry just isn't enough. Sorry is useless, ineffective and lame. Sorry will never make up for broken promises. Sorry will not mend hurt feelings. Sorry doesn't satisfy disappointment. Sorry leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Sorry says "I knew this was wrong and I did it anyway, because I just don't care". Sorry is just a word to nicely tell someone that you willfully hurt them. Sorry is the ultimate form of justification.

"Please don't say things you don't mean," I reply.




^^^



I wanted to believe in forever.

I wanted to believe in forever. I wanted to believe the dream. I wanted to believe in true love. I wanted to believe the romantic candlelight dinners. I wanted to believe the late nights we stayed up talking. I wanted to believe the ring. I wanted to believe the big wedding. I wanted to believe the European honeymoon. I wanted to believe in a happy marriage. I wanted to believe the blue house with a pink door in suburbia. I wanted to believe the two kids and a dog. I wanted to believe the big holidays with family. I wanted to believe our children's birthday parties. I wanted to believe the tender moments that we had when no one else was around. I wanted to believe in growing old together. I wanted to believe in sharing everything. I wanted to believe he was my best friend. And most of all, I wanted to believe he was my soul mate.

A lie, it was all a lie.

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