Have an opinion about something you read in Grrowl? Write and let us know! Send your e-mail to: grrowl@nrrdgrrl.com. Last month's Snarl! about being "cute" generated some similar experiences:Grrowl! E-Zine © 1997, Amelia E. Wilson. All rights reserved. Works copyrighted by their individual authors.
"I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your magazine, and that I felt a blast of recognition when I read the article "Cute." I work almost exclusively with men (casino security), and I find it so aggravating that they get hung up on my appearance.A good chunk of them think I'm "so" cute. That I should be a cocktail waitress. That I can't handle a sick person. That I can't kick an obnoxious loudmouth out. That I should grow my hair long. That I should get married. That I shouldn't talk back. None of these guys are considering me when they say these things. They just want to shoehorn me into their narrow idea of a what a "cute" girl is. What a "good" girl is.
I can really identify with Ms. Harvey's irritation. I'm not a nice or cute or good girl. I'm a freaky uppity girl. Having red hair and freckles does not make me anything else."
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"I'm short. My Grandad used to call me "the dot". When he picked me up from school I'd be the smallest one, trailing our behind everyone else. Maybe that's sweet, for my grandfather I was something to protect and cherish, and I felt good about our relationship.But now I'm an adult, there's noone at the gates outside work to look out for me. I'm just the one who ALWAYS has to sit in the front row of group photos. The one who has to sit on people's laps in over-packed cars. It's okay for me to be cramped and uncomforatble, fitted in to little spaces -- 'cos after all, I don't need as much space -- I'm small.
I've never got over fighting my long-legged brother for the right to sit in the front seat of our parents car. After all he needs it -- for those silly long pins. Even to this day I insist that I get the same amount of bed as my partner. After all, it's his problem he's big -- why should I suffer, I'm just using my space differently.
At work it's the same story. Short equals girl, not woman. Open doors for her, lift packages, she's just a girl. I've lost count of the meetings I've had when "tallies" have tried to lean over me to enforce their opinions.
Next time you judge a shortie as a child, make them squash up somewhere uncomforatble, stack your store shelves high or just scream out loud "but you're soooooooo smaaaaaaaall", just remember -- my teeth are sharp and I can get to your ankles --- FAST!"
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"It isn't easy being tall. I would know. I hit 6 feet at age 12. Now, at 14 and 6'2" I am a head and shoulders above everybody else. Being tall automatically gives everyone else the right to point it out to you. Having people constantly come up to you in the street and say, 'you're tall' makes you begin to doubt the intelligence of the human race. did they think I somehow didn't pick up on the fact that I'm tall? That it had escaped me for all these years? I used to hate my hight, but now that I have learned to live with it, I love it. It may be hard to get clothes that are long enough, but I don't care. If people can't handle my hight well I'm sorry, but that is there problem. Now, when people come up to me and say, 'you're tall' I say, 'thank you'"
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About the rest of Grrowl!:
"I love the August issue! Thanks and keep up the good work - I love reading it!"
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"Just a guy checking out your zine. I read the article 'What's Wrong With Me?'. It really is a pain in the ass trying to "show yourself" to other people. Why can't I just BE myself and fuck all the rest of it. I've just come down to the fact that whatever I wear is a costume and whatever character I feel like being that day is who I am, on the outside anyway."
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"Sometimes I do ask myself the same thing. What's wrong with me ? But not in the sense you might think. I am more agressive about it. Why should anyone be better, more beautiful, more intelligent...than me ? First of all - just not to create misunderstandings - I am not a narcissistic person. I always try to see and treat people with the right portion of respect and tolerance.But I do HATE people who give you the feeling that you constantly have to question yourself on exterior "qualities", such as beauty, height, hairstyle, colour of skin, gender....It doesn't say a thing (perhaps a bit, values are being transformed in attitudes and behaviour, but behaviour doesn't always correspond with attitudes due to social constraint!). And that's just it. SOCIAL CONSTRAINT. We can blame society for it, but we all do form part of that society. Wether you live in the States or in Europe (as I do), we all have - and women in particular - the possibility and ability to fight those prejudices. I won't say we can always win the "fight", but the effort has to be made."
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"I saw the art done by Debbie Rich and I thought it was incredible. Her artwork is truly beautiful!"
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"Thank you for being an outlet for women's poetry on the Web!"
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