I hate my friends...:-P


NrrdGrrl! Discussion Forum: Vent: I hate my friends...:-P
By Melody Mary on Monday, April 13, 1998 - 08:55 pm:

The subject says it all. Its like my friends don't understand me and we don't really get along. They say things so I can't tell them who I really am because I know they wouldn't be my friend anymore. My best friend told me that she thought lesbians will go to hell when they die and she would NEVER be seen with one. Well darlin: She already has, she spends time with me.
Does anyone else have the same problem: They hate their friends because their friends hate who they really are?


By Pamelala on Monday, April 13, 1998 - 09:51 pm:

Hey

Wow...this feels like I'm reading my own words. My friends DO NOT understand me whatsoever....and some days (like today) I get so frustrated at them that I lose my temper and start yelling...which is completely unlike me. I just feel like they use me, becoming oh so very nice when they need someone to drive them somewhere. Around them I feel like I can't be myself.....I'm opinionated, I have bizarre ideas, I'm open-minded (way too much for some people), and I have bad days; I get depressed and they just laugh at me. Ughh, I really need some new friends. Hey Melody Mary....thanks, I needed to vent, today's been hell. If you (or anyone else) needs someone to bitch with...I'm here :)
Pamela


By Keely on Tuesday, April 14, 1998 - 04:06 pm:

Hey, i hate most of my friends too.... I just don;t have a lot in common with them.....come to think of it i am not really even sure how i became freinds with them in the first place.....
They don't understand my sense of humor, my views, and my hobbies. i am very much into the ourdoors and envrionmentalism but few of my friends are....they can't understand why it's important to save a wetland or plant trees.....anyway i just needed to vent about them.....my materialistic friends.
At the moment i am actaully getting along better with guys than i am with any girls. It's werid.....


By Kit on Tuesday, April 14, 1998 - 05:07 pm:

I feel so different and disconnected with my friends. My friends are not close friends. I am afraid to share things with them and really talk. They think I'm really weird. They don't care about the things I do..I'm really into art and I care a lot about what goes on in the world, but all they care about is the prom and who is mad at who. Its easy to say that I should make other friends, but there never seems to be any other girls like me. Even my family thinks I'm weird.


By Eliste on Tuesday, April 14, 1998 - 05:45 pm:

maybe this is just me but if you hate them so much why consider them friends?


By Butch on Tuesday, April 14, 1998 - 06:12 pm:

I don't know if it helps to say this, but there ARE a few people out there who are independent thinkers. It seems like they're just harder to find. About the original message from Melody Mary: woman, don't deal with those people. They can only bring you down. I know--I'm an out lesbian originally from a small town and a right-wing family. Do you have any connections with other lesbians, gay men, or bisexuals? Sometimes that helps.

AK


By Que_ on Tuesday, April 14, 1998 - 08:29 pm:

I don't hate my friends, I just don't really feel close to them. My big sister is probably my best friend in the whole world, because really no one else understands me. I mean, of course, she's human and isn't nice to me 100% of the time, but being with her is guaranteed fun.

The problem with our friends isn't that they suck...it's just that we're not all a tight fit, you know? I think we all need to work on expanding our circles and meeting new people who have more of the same interests. being online can be thereputic because you can go have discussions with people who share interests. but definitely in real life you should all go out and meet more people.. I'm doing that this year, it's what I promised myself at new years. It worked, because I am meeting new people, hanging out with them, and having a blast! So what if they are mostly guys? I think you're right, Keely, guys are just somehow more fun to hang with, and the *new people* I'm talking about are mostly guys, actaully.

hang in there, grrls, there are awesome people like you out there!!!


By Melody Mary on Tuesday, April 14, 1998 - 09:54 pm:

to eliste: They are my friends because If I didn't have them I wouldn't have anybody.
To butch: Nope, I know NOBODY like me, at least noone who is open about it, a'corse, neither am I.
Keely: The guys at my school slip notes like whore in my locker.

Well, I didn't want to whine above but it sure seems like I did. Thanks for the response though..Keep posting. Melodymary@yahoo.com


By Eliste on Wednesday, April 15, 1998 - 05:56 pm:

Melody that really isnt a reason to call them your friends. NOBODY is going to be like you if you dont give them a shot and if you have that frame of mind. Besides we are all different. Would you really want them to be just like you? I wouldnt want to meet up with a double of myself cause I'd probably hate them. Hon, I know this sounds like I dont know what you're going through and that I'm just trying to make things seem right but seriously, there are people out there that can be your friends. A good rule to keep in mind, if spending time with them drains you or takes away most of your energy they arent good for you. Try to find perhaps just one person who you feel gives and takes energy fairly evenly. The others, well, (I"m assuming you're in high school) the others are too wrapped up in what society thinks is right. But you will find places and people with whom that is not the case. Perhaps you wont find them in your home town but hang in there, they do exist


By HappyFace on Friday, April 17, 1998 - 08:55 pm:

i try to be nice to my friends, but they all seem yo hate me. i don't know why. i have one true friend. thank God for that. but all the rest of them turned into PREPS. these people (at my school) are the snobby people who just stepped out of Glamour, and are bitches to anyone who's not a fashion slave. Namely, me. why do people morph from your friends to haters?


By Snowpaws on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 11:51 pm:

Damnit, everyone treats me like I am too young or innocent. I am really tired of this but I'll never be able to do anything about it because I am too shy.


By CLARKY on Sunday, May 17, 1998 - 03:56 pm:

I totaly agree with hapyface. i'm nice to all my friends but they still hate me.i have one true friend but the rest of them use me when their other pals are busy.I think between my so called friends they have half my wardrobe, jewellery and money and have no intentions of giving any of it back. i just need someone to talk to because i'm so depressed


By Helen on Wednesday, May 20, 1998 - 04:33 pm:

Hey grrls....
My advice to you all is GET OUT NOW!!! If it`s lasted a long time, and they treat you like that, then they aren`t worthy of you. There are PLENTY of individual thinkers, bisexuals, lesbians and any other sexual persuasions out there.
One of my friends 'came out' to me six months ago. At first I was shocked, as she`d always shown an interest in guys along with the rest of us, but I got to accept it as *she* was exactly the same person- just a bit more honest!
Melody Mary- your friends might be more receptive to who you are if they weren`t ignorant about lesbians. Next time they talk about how much they hate them, challenge them as to WHY.
Good luck to you all,


By Ib on Thursday, May 21, 1998 - 06:06 pm:

I think that Melody Mary is almost better off not having anyone that understands her. I had someone that understood out me being bisexual...this person was too...but in horrible circumstances, i am now without a friend who understands after having one for so long.


By Anonymous on Wednesday, June 3, 1998 - 07:56 am:

Why do people hurt other people so much?I can totally relate to happyface cause my friends hate me, i'm nice to them and i haven't done anything wrong........so I thought I would go and be brave and strong and find some new friends....so I did ........and everything was cool and fine and I thought like thank you god I'm finally happy!Untill yesterday.....a mutual friend of mine had this book that she was getting everyone to write so my new friend writes "I think Fiona is a shithead.She is worth nothing and i only talk to her cause i feel sorry for her."I mean she actually wrote that and i've only been nice to her.So like the advice go get new friends well I say just becareful cause it may not be what u think it is........I need some advice ...what do i do now?no one understands me cause i'm different but i like who i am and i don't want to change.I go to a small boarding school so i'm lost.I don't know weither to change who i am ,cause any friends i have had ditch me for no reason.I mean i have never done anything wrong and i feel so alone...................ANYbody who has been through similar situations and made it to the other side got any advice?Sorry about this horrrible moany letter but i just needed to talk and i have no one else.........


By Keely on Thursday, June 11, 1998 - 12:15 am:

I don;t know if it's people being superfical or what but this time of year, when we get our yearbooks is a big ego-booster. I mean i have people who i thought disliked me writing glowing comments in my yearbook. It never ceases to maxe me!
Anyway what I really wanted to write about was how i feel bad about judging my friends and thinking they did not understand and they were materialistic. (I guess at one point they were but they seem to have learned and matured so much since then. Besides it might have jsut been a phase.) I now love my friends and they do understand me. If only the school year wasn't ending so soon!! I go away for the summer and they all leave for university.
(I really do have to stop judging people so much by what they appear to be before i get a good chance to know them.)
:)
Keely


By Anonymous on Thursday, July 2, 1998 - 04:06 am:

im glad theres people out there that feel the same way i do(i always thought i was just a bitch)
the worst "friend" i have ditched me 30 miles from my house with NO where to crash while she left to spend the night and get drunk at her friends house. Her boy friend felt sorry for me and spent the night with me outside of an apartment building(he even stole a blanket for me) shes given my phone number to 3 diffrent girls that called just to bitch me out (because im "weird") but she always sucks up and says she was sssooooo stupid and im her best friend blah blah blah. what finnaly conviced me of her evilness was yesterday when she called. She asked me what i was doing, and i told her that i had just got back from the emergency room, then she said "oh my gawd! I saw the cutest boy today!"! she contined to blab for ten minutes when i finally asked if she wanted to know why I went to the stupid hospital, she said "ummmmm, yeah I guess"
What a friend..........................


By Punkgrrl on Wednesday, July 8, 1998 - 09:51 pm:

i feel like all these messages were from me!! don't feel bad everybody, you aren't alone. i feel the same way everybody else does here!! i have a group of a few superficial friends. my *best friend* actually knows nothing about the way i feel, and how i think... it's terrible. every time she calls, i feel like i need to be fake... or something, i can't describe it. sometimes i feel like i am living in a world where nobody wants to deal with anyting real. i guess i'm just a person who doesn't fit in with boy crazy, superficial, judgemental people. i'm just hoping that someday, i'll find someone who understands...

punkgrrl

P.S. it's amazing how you can talk to some people for hours and not really talk about anything. (if that made sense to anybody)


By Aphrodite on Thursday, July 9, 1998 - 03:13 pm:

I go through stages of thinking I hate my friends.
Often they seem superficial, way too shallow, they take me for granted, they're pretentious, bitchy, etc...etc...But then, maybe it's just me who's being superficial - not seeing them for who they really are. Because after all, we're hardly perfect ourselves. Maybe they're thinking exactly the same way. Humans were created as individuals. Maybe we're meant to stay that way - alone - for the rest of our lives. Who knows? Who are we to judge anything or anyone?Especially each other. But then, if it doesn't suit you - change the rules. Dump your friends it they're more like enemies. It's hard, but isn't everything?


By Rhiannon on Wednesday, July 22, 1998 - 03:14 pm:

Hey Aphrodite,

I can relate, you have practically written what I has intending to write in the first place. I've changd friends recently. I have done before but every time the previous group started to be really nice to me so I went back to them and then they just took advantage of me all over again and that happened about three times, until recently I decided to stop hanging around with them altogether which has worked, even though they're still all being really nice to me. The only problem is that my currant friends are getting on my nerves, one of my best friends, Josaphine, has gat a boyfriend, that I set her up with, and now every time I see her she's surgically attached to his face, I havent been able to have a single grrly time with her in weeks and whenever I try to orginise for us to go out somewhere she is always busy for some reason or another. My other friend, Naomi, is anoyed with her but she has a boyfriend aswell, she only sees him at weekends though, but my main problem is that they both have men and I won't get anyone till I'm 50 at this rate and Josaphine does not seem to understand that she's rubbing it in my face, I really want them to break up but I can't want to because they make a great couple and I was the one to set them up in the first place. Both my friends keep saying that they're trying to set me up with someone, but I don't want that, I'm the type that wants a boy to come and ask me out, and then go on some really romantic date and make my first kiss something really special, yep I'm 14 and I haven't even had my first kiss, I wouldn't be in such a rush if everyone elese was not in a rush, I feel like I'm under such pressure and they're supposed to be my friends. I'm so confused, HELP!?!?


By Ultraviolet on Tuesday, July 28, 1998 - 04:16 am:

I've never had many friends myself 'cuz I'm really shy. I totally understand you Snowpaws. I read somewhere that shyness is actually a form of selfishness, not wanting to let anyone into your life. That is so not true. I've been shy all my life and when I did try to be outgoing and open, I was rejected. I hope I'll grow out of it someday. For all of the girls w/ buddy problems the only solution is to talk to them and make your point clear (no subtle hints). If they are good friends, they'll understand. For the yearbook anonymous girl, face the girl who wrote the nasty comment and talk to her, how you thought you and her were friends and how you've been so nice to her. As for Melody Mary, no one should take the kind of abuse you're getting from that guy who writes the notes and puts them in your locker. Either face him in person, and call him a coward for not being able to insult you to your face, or write him a note saying that your older brother is coming home from college and that he's captain of the wrestling team.


By Kate on Saturday, August 22, 1998 - 04:07 pm:

I really like my two best friends but they seem to like each other a lot more than they like me. I can't seem to find friends that i could confide ANYTHING to, such as a medical problem that i have even found impossible to go to my doctor. The problem is that i dont trust people enough with my business or my thoughts, and my two best friends are just not on my wavelength.

This is my last year at High School, so next year when i go to uni, i plan to meet people who like me for me, and who understand me as a person.


By Gilmoure on Saturday, August 22, 1998 - 09:42 pm:

I have to say that I have some of the best friends in the world. They are the type that would lend you a $1000 or bail you out of jail if needed. The weird thing is that, when I went off to college, they pretty much never wrote or called or anything, except for one girl who is sorta' the planner and party thrower. Always got b-day and x-mis cards from her. Once I got back home, everyone was real friendly again and calling me up to hang out and such. It's been that way for a couple of years now and I'm thinking of taking a job across country (USA). I realize that the same thing will probably happen again and I accept that. Friends and people are how they are, not how you'd like them to be. If they are more trouble than they're worth, move on. There's six billion people on the planet. Lots of potential friends.

Gilmoure


By Sunshine on Friday, September 25, 1998 - 05:15 pm:

Since i have been in high school i have been just getting more confused with all of my friends.Some of my really good friends who i confide in,who are really nice,and we have fun together...well we don't really talk much anymore.One of them is even ignoring me and won't tell me why.A couple other people i have been friends with,are like turning into people that i don't want to hang out with.One them just started like yesterday started saying everything negative about me.Usually i would get hurt but i'm stronger than i use to be and just ignored her though it is kinda annoying to have someone yell in your ear about shit while your trying to study.She is so messed up alot more than i am "supposedly" cause people talk about how immature she is all of the time.And then she said that like all these people are starting to get so annoyed with me. I don't know i am never mean to people and i don't think i am obnoxious or anything.And all my other friends are talking behind their friends back saying they are bitches and sluts CONSTANTLY.It is so sickning.What should i do???NEED SOME ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!
:)Sunshine:)


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