UNTITLED

by Heather Coates



I have asked myself many times, " what am I saying?"
I have also wondered "what are you hearing?"
I sat still, I cried still, and I remembered still.

I seemed to awake to my greatest fears.
I saw you running so fast, I was standing there watching you...
Not knowing if you heard me.
Almost like my lips were moving without any sound.

I held my own face in my hands, I grabbed my own chest,
and I stopped, still in your fresh tracks leading a trail away from me.
I stood there, looking at your empty foot steps on the ground.

I cried, oh God I cried like a baby.
You were dead, you were gone, and I watched you drive away.
This was slow process, for it seemed to be so drawn out.

It seemed like I watched you for a while, my lips were moving but you
could not
hear the sound.
My tears were falling, but you were slipping right out of
my hands.
I once held you and now I am dropping, the promises I could not
comprehend.

There were no answers to my questions.
My questions I screamed at the top of my voice,
out to the stars above,
and then echoed no answer, no answer, no answer
at all.....

Kneeling with my knees pressing the dirt below me, clenching my
fists.... I
took a deep breath,
and then filled a power a power of beauty into my life I was breathing,
I could breath on my own.

No pain holding tightly to every last heart beat,
and taking a breath again and again.
I slowly looked up in the wonder of this world all around me,
and before me I stared

I looked into a mirror, a mirror of someone, of someone,
I thought I had known once before.
She gazed into my glare.

My hands were unfolding and began reaching and running through her
hair......
The hands felt her neck and felt the blood pumping,
and the warmth of her skin.
I held close to the living, no longer dying,
and smiled softly at the woman that was there.

I stretched my legs out slowly and curled my toes gently,
and pushed my shoulders back.
I laughed hysterically, almost delirious, and slowly stood up.

And then all of the memories,
turn into the distance, and melted into your footsteps,
and made one of my own.

I walked slowly away from that place.
I ran slowly at a steady pace.
I felt power, I felt fire, and I felt beauty richly rare.
I took the future, and loved it kindly and accepted the challenging
with fear.

I danced in the moonlight, I laughed in the morning,
and found time to cry softly.
I thanked the heavens for the chance to realize,
that I had lost the one that mattered,
it was only myself........


Get in touch with Heather Coates