annorexia


NrrdGrrl! Discussion Forum: Just Plain Talk: annorexia
By Anonymous on Monday, March 16, 1998 - 06:41 pm:

I have a friend, and she desperatly needs help. She used to weigh a healthy 130lbs
but now she has gone down to 89. Her mom knows but dosn't do anything besides taking the phone away. I always tell her the long term effects of annorexia and also the short trem. But she won't listen! Help!


By Lee on Monday, March 16, 1998 - 07:55 pm:

Are there any adults you can have talk to her mom? I certainly don't mean to be ageist as it sounds like you have a great deal sense more than her mom has. However, sometimes adults will only listen to other adults. Maybe if you could get a teacher or another parent or someone to talk to her mom, maybe she'd realize the extent of the problem. It sounds like you're a good friend & you've done pretty much everything you can in this situation. I hope your friend gets the help she needs. Hang in there.


By Que_ on Tuesday, March 17, 1998 - 12:25 am:

Anorexia is a devestating condition, I know someone who was annorexic, and still battles it. She's one of the most intelligent people I know and even so she came down with this illness. I couldn't believe it, and the worst part is that people kept saying how great she looked at first when she started losing the weight. SO she kept going, then people noticed she had a real problem. The trick with this is to get the person deep psychological counseling, I think, because annorexia has much more to do with the mind than the body. It's typically a battle within one person for control over her/himself. By starving yourself you get the ultimate control, and you are in power over yourself. Usually this stems from other problems, feelings which vary greatly from one patient to the next. Quite often I believe that annorexia is accompanied (if not caused by as well) depression.

This is a SERIOUS condition, and if the girl's mother does not seem to care or notice or whatever, perhaps you could alert a medical professional within your school or community. Even the school nurse could be a starting point. That way, if there is a serious problem, the school official can alert the parents of the very seriousness of the issue. Maybe THEN this obstinate mother would pay attention to what her daughter was doing.

Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe this girl's mother *is* part of the problem, actually *causing* the girl's annorexia to some extent? It sounds a lot like this grrl is making a desperate cry for help and'/or attention.

===Que


By Lee on Tuesday, March 17, 1998 - 08:20 pm:

Hey, it was insightful enough to say it twice :-) Good points on all counts!


By Que_ on Wednesday, March 18, 1998 - 01:14 am:

thanks, I've seen annorexia grasp a friend, it's not pretty. Been there.

You know, I just noticed that up there I had spelled "repetitive" as "repeptivve." Hahah I am laughing, I don't think I've ever had such a *bad* typo!!! Hahah!

Hah, Oh well, haha!
Later peoples!

Que


By Keely on Monday, March 30, 1998 - 09:25 pm:

Recently I discovred a friend of mine has stopped eating, (claims it is because she is sick) and i have noticed that she is not as energetic as usual. But what got me was that last Friday she went to the washroom after eating three seasme snacks and came back minuted later "feeling much better". Of course my friends and are totally freaking out. We don't want to force her eat and it has not been going on for very long so we can't really come out and say "I think you have an eating disorder and should seek help." It would seem like we are jumping to conclusions, plus i don't want to loose her friendship. Should we wait a while longer to comfront her about it? one of my friends already has talked to hear about her not really being herself latley, but i don't know how the conversation went. Help!
:(
Keely


By Que_ on Wednesday, April 1, 1998 - 06:39 pm:

Keely- I suggest trying complimenting her, but not just her looks. I mean, like compliment her on how awesome her voice/heart/athletic abilities are, and see how she reacts. If she denies the compliment (like says "no I'm not") then it's a self-esteem thing and that's another sign she might have a disorder. Tell me what happens.

Que


By Kat on Wednesday, April 1, 1998 - 09:40 pm:

I don't know what to do. Last year, this girl was in my history class. She wasn't fat at ALL, but she's tall and solid. But this year she looks sooo thin..like, fragile. Everytime i see her in the hall i am shocked. But I don't really know her, and I don't think she likes me..or anyone. She's very bossy and is always looking for a challenge. There is not much I can do, but I am worried.
Keely, what did you do?


By Anonymous on Tuesday, April 7, 1998 - 02:43 pm:

Since everyone writing in seems to be the concerned friend role, I think I might add in my 2 cents.
I am a semi-anorexic grrl. I say semi because my case is not as serious as some others. I am really freaked out. I used to weigh a good, nice, even..., 122 pounds. Not bad, right? However, since I slipped up and told one of my friends, I've been gaining really fast. I told her on Sunday. Monday, I was up to 125, Today, 129. seven pounds in two days! My friend was really against the disorder, and seemed determined to "help" me. Do you think she hexed me? Or is this a sign of my body doing some wacked-out things?
Is there a docter in the building? J


By Que_ on Tuesday, April 7, 1998 - 10:45 pm:

Maybe it's water gain? I'm not an expert, but god help me, I'm so interested in this topic of annorexia I felt compelled to write several posts even though I myself am not anorexic.
Anon- maybe it's your cycle? Maybe your scales out of whack? I hope so....I hope you're okay :)

Que


By Anonymous on Wednesday, April 8, 1998 - 05:28 pm:

to Que, from Anon:
yeah i'm better now, well, i'm not starving myself, i'm just trying not to think about the gain, or the cause of it. Thanks for caring, though.

maybe i'm just stuperstitous about my friend hexxing me, but the way that friend acts, you think she's the whole Wicka [sorry, I can't spell J ] religon spokesperson.

Note: A person practicing Wicka is known as a witch.


By Anonymous on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 02:20 pm:

guess what guys! of the seven pounds i was so freaked out about, i lost six!

i guess by way of triumphs, that's not a particularly healthy one, but my little head can rest easy [it's Tylenol, PM.] sorry, that just floated so well together


By Deborah (Crazemink) on Wednesday, April 15, 1998 - 01:52 pm:

Throwing in my .02 about anorexia... I never was "officially diagnosed", but it was definitely a struggle to keep up to a healthy weight. Finally figured out that the reason why I would refuse myself food was because if the rest of my life seemed so out of my control, at least ONE thing I _could_ control was whether or not I ate. So I didn't.

It's still a struggle today. Whenever life gets stressful, I don't want to eat... no matter how hungry I am. But I've kept in mind a saying that really makes sense... "you can't make a bad situation better by neglecting yourself". So I'll get myself a little something, maybe not the most nutritious thing in the world, but the very act of moving through my fear and feeding myself is almost more important than what actually goes into my mouth.

p.s. to anonymous...if your friend is truly wiccan, then she's bound by the law of returns... whatever you put out magically returns to you (one, three or nine times) again. So watch her weight closely for proof *grin*...


By Lily2 on Tuesday, May 5, 1998 - 11:06 pm:

i am a recovered anorexic. it started when i was 12 and i struggled with it on and off for more than 10 years. finally, i decided to get help because i knew i couldn't keep doing this to my body, my mind, my soul. eating disorders are totally complex problems--on the surface they seem related to superficial ideas of wieght, looks, etc., but they are really deeper than that. in my therapy i realized that i didn't feel like there was enough space in the world for me--i didn't feel like my feelings or opinions or ideas were valid, so i tried to make myself small. and it like the other woman above said, it was a control thing. things in my family, at school, etc. seemed so out of my control--but i could control the size of my body. and since our sick society glorifies women (in mags) who look like skeletons i got a lot of positive feedback, for awhile. until my hair started falling out and my skin got really dry and my periods stopped, i couldn't remember things very well and i couldn't sleep. reading things like the woman who wrote about losing six pounds and being so happy about it makes me so sad. i wasted so many years of my life being obsessed with my wieght, calories, and exercise--what if i had put my brain to use on something beautiful and productive instead of self-destructive? to anyone who thinks they or a friend might have a problem with this please please please ask your parents, a trusted teacher, or friend, or doctor for help. i thought it wasn't that big of a deal initially--i got praise, i was special. i didn't realise until it was almost too late what I was losing. getting better, gaining wieght, and coming to terms with my body were the hardest things i've ever done in my life, but they were the best things. i don't wiegh myself anymore and i eat three square meals, plus snacks each day--it might not sound like a big deal, but i used to freak out if even ate just a carrot.

p.s. it is normal to gain what seems like a lot of weight really fast initially. you've been starving yourself and your body is trying to hang onto the food for dear life. but if you keep at it, i promise that the gain will level off and you'll find the natural weight you should be at for your height. recovery is so scary, but it's the absolute best. find a good therapist, join a support group, check yourself into the hospital if you have to--nothing is more important that your health.


By Just-for-kicks on Wednesday, May 6, 1998 - 08:08 am:

I always seem to gain and then lose loads of weight in one day but I don't know what causes it - I mean, there are all these diets on TV and in magazines that say you should lose about two pounds a week or something if you're trying to lose weight. I'm not really on a serious diet or anything, though I want to lose a bit 'cos I gained some recently, but I can lose about 4 pounds in a day for absolutly no reason, then be my normal weight the next morning, or, I can gain that much then be the normal weight again. How come? Any tips on how to keep the weight off but keep it steady?


By Lily2 on Wednesday, May 6, 1998 - 09:21 pm:

hey just-for kicks:
don't diet, eat regular meals--healthy stuff veggies, grains, etc. and exercise--go for a walk every other day or whatever you can do. when you lose 4 pounds in a day, it's just water-weight. when you restrict food even for a day, your body freaks out, so the next time you eat it just grabs onto everything you eat just in case you decide to starve it again. do that too much and you totally screw up your metabolism. i read someplace once that one of the biggest causes of obesity in our country is dieting. that and the fact that people nowadays eat tons of fast food instead of stuff that's good for you. if you eat right and exercise your body just keeps burning up the good food you give it and you'll stay trim and healthy and keep your weight steady.


By Sandy on Friday, May 8, 1998 - 10:16 pm:

Well, what can I say? I am a recovering anorexic but I still suffer from the problem. Its not as bad as it used to be, at least its managable now. Anyway, to all those friends out there, there is nothing you can do! It hurts like hell and you want to scream and shake them, but the best thing you can do is remain quiet and stick by them through to the end, no matter how much they try to push you away. I lost so many friends through anorexia, its like a living, breathing thing that wants to consume you all for itself. A lot of my friends tried to help, even screaming and yelling at me, but speaking from experience, it doesn't help but damages. Sure, try and get them to speak to a counsillor or someone, but stick with them. It will be a true test of your friendship but when its over, and it will end eventually, nothing can break your friendhsip after duelling such a horrific ordeal. Best of luck to you all!


By NegetiveAngel on Wednesday, May 20, 1998 - 11:10 am:

I have a really close friend that was both anorexic and bulimic. I know how hard it can be watching then deterirate. The thing is the only person that can sort it out is her and she has to admit there is a problem first. I really hope that it all works out but at the end of the day all you can do is let her know that you'll be there for her....no matter what.....I know that it's going to be painful for you but all you can do is hope she will see sense eventually.

Good Luck and Stay Strong,


By Que_ on Wednesday, May 20, 1998 - 12:11 pm:

What does everyone think about anti-depressants and their effects on eating disorders?


By Anonymous on Saturday, May 23, 1998 - 12:02 pm:

This really annoys me when people look at you and say to themselves 'shes anorexic' or 'she looks ill'.

I am pale skinned, thin and tall but I don't have an eating disorder. In fact my friends are surprised how much I eat and how little weight I put on.


By Laurel on Saturday, May 23, 1998 - 08:18 pm:

Anonymous- that's very true. Some people (probably you) have rapid metabolisms and so they don't gain weight easily. Nothing wrong with that. It's very narrow-minded and stereotypical to say someone thinner than average is anorexic. I think that trivializes how serious eating disorders really are.


By Laurel on Saturday, May 23, 1998 - 08:20 pm:

Oh yeah, another thing. Do you exercise a lot, Anonymous? That could be another reason you're able to eat a lot and stay thin. People should be praised for doing such a healthy thing, not criticized for being "anorexic".


By Que_ on Monday, May 25, 1998 - 12:27 am:

Sometimes people say things like that because they are worried, not because they are being judgemental or gossipy. I think the scary nature of eating disorders in our society makes everyone a little bit more aware than usual of them. It must be nice having some people care enough about you to say things of that nature, sincerely believing you might be ill....because at least you know that they care enough to even make a comment about you. Maybe the comments weren't meant to hurt your feelings or make you pissed, but instead were sincere? I could be wrong, but that's my take on it anyways.


By Cara on Tuesday, May 26, 1998 - 05:49 pm:

Tip: throw the bath room scales, they've a lot to answer for. Who cares weather you gain or loose a pund here or there, they make an un neceasary isssue of it, and it's probably a lot safer not to know, I don't obsess over my wieght or the size of my butt half as much since we chucked ours.


By Annonymous on Friday, May 29, 1998 - 09:25 am:

do you think someone can cure themselves of an eating disorder?


By Sophie on Tuesday, June 2, 1998 - 01:11 am:

I thought I had it cracked.Im too old for this shit...once again, I find myself fat & depressed with no middle ground.What pisses me off is that this thang never goes away...it just keeps rearing its ugly head.





By Been there still there on Wednesday, June 3, 1998 - 02:39 pm:

sophie, dear, i am right with you. this middle ground stuff where i'm trying to push out the derogitory thoughts cause i know it's bull, but they just seam to .... fester.


By Anonymous on Wednesday, June 24, 1998 - 12:48 pm:

How do you know if you're anorexic?


By Laurel on Wednesday, June 24, 1998 - 08:33 pm:

You're really preoccupied with diet, calories, weight and/or exercise, you make excuses at meals for not eating, you lose so much weight that your period stops or your hair falls out, you feel fat no matter how much weight you lose, you feel dizzy or faint because you're not eating, you exercise to the point of total exhaustion and/or getting hurt, you always think you should lose more weight. Those are some signs of anorexia. Do you think you have it?


By Anonymous on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 04:38 pm:

laurel,
thanx but definrtly not !!!


By Tiffany S. on Tuesday, July 7, 1998 - 01:56 am:

To all of the people posting with eating disorders-- PLEASE get help. I wish you the best of luck.

Also, I know some girls who are super athletic and who play tons of sports, yet they aren't fat-free or model-like. Your body's shape mostly has to do with genes and the body you were born with. I just hope that in the decades to come, the fashion industry will turn to more realistic models who come in a whole spectrum of shapes and sizes who'll put Kate Moss out of a job.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, July 21, 1998 - 03:37 pm:

KEEP ON GOING YOU PEOPLE, IT'S NOT WORTH IT JUST TO LOOK GOOD BECAUSE IN THE END (NO OFFENSE)YOU'LL END UP LOOKING CRAP ANYWAY.


By Anonymous on Tuesday, August 4, 1998 - 05:35 pm:

hey--i know everyone is advising against all these eating disorders but i'm trying to become annorexic. i want to be skinny. i don't own a scale but the last time i weighed myself, i weighed 128. i'm 5'6". i am very unhappy about the way i look and i try not to eat. somedays i can do it but other days my body just gives in and wants food. i feel so bad when i eat. i know this is unhealthy but diets don't work. i just want to get to a good weight and then keep a heathly eating habit from there. but i feel i have to starve myself to get there.


By Endora on Tuesday, August 4, 1998 - 10:51 pm:

Anon,

Have you ever seen anyone who's truly anorexic? I'm talking, anorexic, starving oneself as opposed to naturally thin.

I was in a graduate course w/a woman who had to suspend her studies to get treatment for anorexia. I first found out something was wrong when they paged her in the library. Generally, they won't do that because it'll disturb people who are trying to study. It's only for emergency life-or-death situations. She'd gone for some tests at the university infirmary & the results of one of the chemical tests indicated her heart might stop beating at any moment, so they paged her to let her know. Several days later, our professor told us she was leaving the class to get treatment for anorexia.

Other symptoms/consequences include bone mass loss and cessation of periods. I'm sure anorexics who recognize the problem would give anything to eat.

Your weight doesn't sound unreasonable for your height. If you're really concerned about your appearance, see a nutritionist & start an exercise program. Or read up on nutrition. Starving yourself will only make you binge. Work on eating in moderation. There's nothing wrong w/the "bad" foods as long as you don't eat them all the time.

Proper nutrition and exercise have a lot of benefits, including; growth of bone density, improvement in cardiovascular health and developing strength. You look and feel a lot better that way than you would w/anorexia.


By Anonymous on Tuesday, August 18, 1998 - 06:40 pm:

I am approximately 5'7" inches tall and about 117. I exercise and lift weights. My boyfriend says I am obsessed and is quite worried. I did have a slight problem in high school but I came out of that. My family is freaked. David and I were talking about getting married but he wants to make sure I up and leave him because of this obsession. I feel fine although there are times I am sorely depressed. I don't know why I wrote just wanting another viewpoint I guess. I don't think of myself as anorexic or bulimic or obsessive and compulsive but maybe I don't see things like others do.


By Anonymous on Friday, August 21, 1998 - 07:34 am:

I am 13 and am currently fighting a mild eating disorder everyone at school knows even a few teachers but not one member of my family knows and i want to keep it that way.one of the teachers at school made me see her and she weighed me once a week for about a month then i told her i was ok.Now i realise there is a problem and i confided in a teacher at school (not the same one) and she is really helping me through it all.Unfortunately its the middle of the 6 weeks and i really want to see her this is the longest time ive gone without speaking to her.I cant wait to get back to school.Idont know what i would have done i probably would have committed suiside


By Aphrodite on Friday, August 21, 1998 - 10:34 am:

Ok. What I wanna know is, what counts as an eating disorder? Sure, I'd love to be a size ten and I battle constantly with my weight but that's just one of those things. Is there even one woman out there who can honestly say she is happy with her weight or the way she looks? Some of my friends say I have a great figure - I don't know wether they're just being nice or what, but still, every momment of the day I wish I was a stone lighter.


By Anonymous on Monday, September 7, 1998 - 02:57 pm:

I´m from Sweden and my english is not so good.
Well I have a doughter 32 years old and she has
annorexia. She is just waiting for a place in a
home for care. We have a severel places in Sweden for just annorexi. We her family are very sad about her illnes. She´s married and have two underful girls. So if you love to be a size smaler think once again You can be ill.


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