![]()
----------------------------------------
"I found NrrdGrrl the first day I began exploring this world of weird called Web, early this summer, after several years of resisting the internet as being technogeekery. Since then, NrrdGrrl has helped me systematically explore the web as well as linking me to kindred souls and allowing me to access information i needed to FINALLY build my own page."
*** "Uh...great page! I cant think of much to say right now. I'm tired, and I should be doing my term paper...It's nice to know somebody out there understands. Anyway, I am so sick of women being judged by their appearance. Like when butt-ugly guys think its their right to rate every girl who comes into a room. I would give anything to tell these guys to their face just how ugly they are...I'm not that pretty, and i may never get a boyfriend. So what!!! I'm still a cool person.....every man should have to wear makeup and high heels and get really dressed up for a date, just once, so they can know what its like.....I've always been a nerd. Now I' proudly call myself a nrrd grrl."
***
"In the middle of the night I got a phone call from one of my friends, she was in hysterics. "I can't do it anymore, I'm not good enough to be in university, why don't guys like me?" Followed by "I just want to go home, I'm a burden to all my friends, my life sucks!" I told her to call me at anytime, no matter what the hour. That's my policy with all my close friends. I tried to be calming, and stay awake, after all it was 2:00 am. I suggested she read your webpage during a spare moment just to see that she's not the only one like this. The common theme from most of my female friends is that they're just not good enough at what they want to do. I don't know if self-confidence and ego are "guy traits" but a bit of belief in oneself goes a long way. So what if you don't look like "Hope Brady" or the Cosmo cover girl! My wife is brilliant, we're having a blast raising our two young boys, she's not a runway model but she has a face I like to look at when I wake up, and she gets prettier each day! After 14 years, she finally believes it when I tell her she's beautiful. A little bit of faith goes a long way. If you think you're different from everyone else, that's good, "ordinary" people are a drag. "
***
"It is unfortunate that the "revolution of normalcy" you mention in the NrrdGrrl Manifesto footnote, is being led by a battered but persevering "microculture" of NORMAL people who are sick of the cascading, false facades deemed as "standards" that we should strive to attain. The "standards" are set by corporate boardrooms [...are there any women in here... :-/ ...?], the Media and so called Ad Agency gurus (read, "paper tigers"). The voices of normalcy get overshadowed and drowned out by the latest tabloids and gossip.Someone only gets confused about what "really" makes them "happy-warm-and-fuzzy-on-the-inside", after the magazines, tabloid-TV and Corporate culture "authorities", TELL US how to be happy. This is usually accompanied by a bombardment of "the-beautiful-people" images who are purchasing/using/driving the ultimate in "happiness". How miserable it can be for an honest, sensible soul just trying to "get along", who sets personal standards that are at odds with the latest Cosmo, GQ or Hollywood poll. I think Ms. Calhoun in Snarl pointedly spoke to this very painful dynamic. Her positive, personal expression, "They missed out on knowing the beautiful person that I am." says it all.
In business as well as in personal interactions, the "normalcy" folks generally follow the Golden Rule and hope the other businessperson, spouse or date is doing the same. Sadly, many people, too many, seem to have an agenda that only includes "real" courtesy, politeness, tenderness and/or compassion if its convenient for them. Convenient in the sense that, "what's in it for me ?".....how can the "nice" gals/guys NOT feel victimized by the mass of people living the Media/Ad Agency way of life? "
***
"I'm sixteen, and yes, I've been all of those "too"s. I am angry, depressed, shy, psychotic, bitchy, happy, sarcastic and intelligent. Are these crimes? I used to worry about the answer to that question a lot. Now, I just say "fuck it...I'm a NrrdGrrl, and I don't need any of you". :)"***
"A lot of people think guys put all the pressure on us to be perfect. ITS NOT TRUE! I once was a "gotta-follow-the-fads-and-be-as-skinny-as-a-model" type once to! Guys are a pressure, but most of the pressure is pressure we put on ourselves. Weve gotta learn that we gotta be ourselves, and not a barbie-look-alike. I know you might feel akward at first, but if you like something you should wear it proudly! If you beleive in something, tell the world! Its time we listened to the army motto and "be all that we can be!!" Lets go out there an dshow them what were made of! Im not a barbie, but I'm not a guy-wannabe either! IM AN AMERICAN WOMAN!! "
---------------------------------------- Previous Mailbags can be found here.