My Sex Life


NrrdGrrl! Discussion Forum: Just Plain Talk: My Sex Life
By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 27, 1998 - 12:42 pm:

I have 2 problems which I need you people to help me with - 1. I prefer going on top but my boyfriend says it does nothing for him. He's fine when he's on top but that does nothing for me. Any suggestions? 2. Is it normal for him to keep coming out of me whilst we're having sex? Please write back to reassure me that I'm not a complete freak (or going out with one) with no ability to have an orgasm. Cheers. xxx


By Shannon on Thursday, May 28, 1998 - 03:45 am:

Position problems, huh? I guess that all comes down to compromise. :) Yeah, "slipping" is a problem for me and my boyfriend sometimes, I've found that you just have to be careful on how you move and it will help. And for orgasms? Girl, join the club! Have you never gone to the "Sexuality" aisle of a bookstore and seen the thousands of books on how to have an orgasm? :) Just a little advice, it seems like most people - grrls - have an easier time coming while masturbating than they do when they're having intercourse. You might think about it.


By Anonymous on Thursday, May 28, 1998 - 04:28 pm:

Cheers Shannon, I have thought about it, but it's not quite the same is it? Are there any positions that you (or anyone) would recommend? The only ones I know are him on top, me on top ... you get the picture. Seeing as I'm putting all that effort in, I might as well come while I'm at it - it's not v. fair for him to have all the fun now is it?Thanks for reassuring me on the "slipping" thing as well.
Cheers xxx


By Helen on Friday, May 29, 1998 - 10:28 am:

How about the C.A.T? No, not the purring kind!! This is where he`s on top, but positions his body a lot higher up so his pelvic bone presses against yours. This stimulates your clitorus a lot more than in normal penetration.
You may need a bit of practice though!!


By Curious on Saturday, May 30, 1998 - 06:26 pm:

Does it hurt when u do it??? what does it feel like??? When you do it, does it feel like you're masterbating???


By Anonymous on Sunday, May 31, 1998 - 05:18 pm:

Hi CHEERSxxx, I just saw your posting on the 'M' forum and thought I might be able to help with your concern which is not at all uncommon. Consider this possibility, the primary erotic area on a guy is in his penis and the primary erotic area on most gals is around their clits. Ask yourself why so many gals want their primary initial arousal to come from their vaginas? Is it primarily to satisfy their guy? Look, guys don't need to get their penises inside to orgasm, so why do you think this is necessary for gals to have a "proper" orgasm? All aspects of a gal don't have to be complementary to that of a guy. Perhaps this is just a trip that some guys have dumped on gals, which some gals then spend their whole lives trying to live up to. Its your life, take control. Encourage your guy to stimulate your clit during mutual play. If entry follows, continue that clit play. If he doesn't, do it yourself. If you think it will mask where the full sensation is coming from, IT DOESN'T MATTER. What matters is that it feels good to you. Many women find that their vagina lacks sensation until after a certain level of clitoral arousal is achieved. Drop the concept, that in "real women," arousal should start and end, all in their vaginas. That's what alot of guys want gals to believe.

CHEERSzzz


By Shannon on Monday, June 1, 1998 - 11:32 am:

It definitely doesn't hurt. Just think about it like this - your vagina is created for sex, and for childbirth. It's totally natural! When I lost my virginity, it hurt for about thirty seconds, but that was it. I guess it's natural to be nervous, but try not to worry about it too much


By Wondering on Monday, June 1, 1998 - 01:47 pm:

How does it feel when a guy puts it in???


By Shampoo on Monday, June 1, 1998 - 07:21 pm:

.... is it uncomfortable?

(i'm feeling pretty pathetic here, bear with me)


By Lee on Monday, June 1, 1998 - 10:38 pm:

okay, for the curious, depends on the situation, depends on the guy, how you feel about the whole relationship etc., but it can be everything from a slight pinch (similiar to ear piercing) to painful. My advice is to do it w/someone u feel completely comforatble w/& trust. Of course, take the usual birth control/STD precautions :-)

PS If u have questions, I'd recommend the book "Everywoman's Guide to Sexual Fulfillment" It has diagarams about positions, advice about first time, sexual decision making, etc.


By Anonymous on Wednesday, June 3, 1998 - 12:55 pm:

Thanks for the advice other Anon. I'll give it a try.
xxx


By Anonymous on Friday, June 5, 1998 - 01:03 pm:

I'm back again. I think you kinda missed my point other anon. I can come in the "proper" way when i'm on top but my boyf can't. What I basically want to know is are there any positions that anybody could suggest where we can both come?
bye xxx


By Anonymous on Sunday, June 7, 1998 - 03:57 am:

Hi anon xxx, Sorry for not better understanding your concern. I wish I had some better answers but my experience is pretty limited. The books "The Joy of Sex" and "The More Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort show dozens of positions along with lots of other fine tips. You may also want to find out what some of your boyf fantasies are to see if there is some way you can mix those with what also gives you pleasure. Oh, the tricks our heads can play with us in this game. Bye, anon zzz


By Indecredilous on Saturday, June 13, 1998 - 10:51 am:

what's with all these sex books? there's also the "Sex in Courses" serious. why? i unnerstand that some people [myself included] are virgins and want to know about it but it seems so... so...

does anyone else know what i am trying to say?


By 7UP INCIDER on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 07:51 pm:

There are a lot of positions for example Doggie Style. She stands on the floor and places her hands on the bed. The slids his penis in her Beaver from the rear. Here he can reach around her leg and rub her clit to get her off.
There is the chair with no arms guy sits in it she can mount him facing him or mount him with her back to him definatly no "Fall Out" in this position


By Asking on Thursday, June 25, 1998 - 09:35 pm:

What's a clit


By Anonymous on Friday, July 31, 1998 - 11:04 am:

Can anyone help me? Although me and my boyfriend have been having sex for a year and a half, I have never come while he's inside me. Can anyone suggest anything that would help, we're getting a bit desperate!


By Anonymous on Saturday, August 1, 1998 - 02:20 am:

Anon 07/31/98 Do you also never come when your clit is simultaneously stimulated by you or your partner? You know, that is not cheating and it doesn't mean you are lacking in some way.


By Anonymous on Saturday, August 8, 1998 - 05:10 pm:

Hey, someone who knows what I'm going through!! With my boyf I just can't come FULL STOP (yep, it's that bad), however hard he tries, although i have to fake it otherwise he'll be really hurt and just end up trying TOO hard (trust me on this one grrls - I'm not a doormat, you just don't know my boyf!! It's really silly cos I love him tons and he turns me on majorly, but i just can't reach that final stage (if you know what I mean), and it kind of pisses me off that he can just like, come really quickly! I'm so jealous!!! Anon on 31st July, if you find any little tricks, positions etc. please don't forget to tell me !!
luv Original anon xxx


By Endora on Sunday, August 9, 1998 - 08:34 pm:

Well is there any clitoral stimulation? That's what'll do it for you. Doesn't matter if it's foreplay, etc. but you need it to come. Is there anyway you can negotiate it in?


By Anonymous on Monday, August 10, 1998 - 03:20 am:

There is clitoral stimulation, but nothing happens. I get to the stage where it kinda makes you feel all shaky but nothing beyond that.


By Cate on Wednesday, August 19, 1998 - 10:19 pm:

Well, I'm sorry to say but I'm feeling quite happy about myself and my situation! I'm sorry to hear about those who can't come.

But I may be able to offer advice. I've been sexually active for a year with my boyfriend. Both of us mutually lost our virginity together and I nearly came the first time we had sex. It was a little uncomfy at first and both of us were inexperienced but it was good anyways. The first time I came through sex was two days after our first sexual experience. Maybe I'm lucky, maybe he's talented, but I come 9/10 times through sex and I make sure that if I don't come, my boy pleases me in another way (not that he's complaining, any chance to touch my goodies he'll take!) be it manual or oral stimulation.
I don't fake orgasm...if it doesn't do it for me, it doesn't do it.
But like all you others, my boy finds it hard to come with me on top when he'd lying on the bed. He says its because theres no actual thrust...it's easier if he sits up and you sit ontop allowing him to thrust and you can ride. That is a nice combo.
Another way I am garrunteed to come it through missionary. But for a better clitoral orgasm, spread your legs wide open and get him to hold the back of your knees so your legs are in the air (But bent, Wrap your ankles over his butt) That rubs against your clit.
The most important tip!!!!!! Make sure you pace him out! If he comes before you, it's harder to come yourself, so if need be, ride him until your at your horniest then swing into mish and come together (Which feels AMAZING!) or get him to oral first then slip in when your at the peak of arousal.
Once you begin to come, the BEST is coming together. He has to get the rhythm right (or else he'll come) but the most amazing orgasm is when you come and your vagina contracts and you can feel him coming. Mmmmm.
But you have to get him to pace himself or else he's just going to come and you're not!
Hope I helped...
PS: Cool pozzies:

Doggie, Standing up against the wall him coming in from behind, on a chair, him sitting on a bed, legs outstretched, you sit ontop facing his feet. Legs around his shoulders (I do yoga...you need to be flexi) You on your knees him under neath (rid\sing and lowering on his penis) on the side (you have to lift your leg up over his side) Spoons (on the side from behind) You lying on the bed, him standing and holding your weight, traditional Mish but with him on his palms, arms stretched (like he's doing push ups) both of you sitiing legs wrapped around eachother.


By Anonymous on Tuesday, October 13, 1998 - 05:40 pm:

WHO THE HELL ANSWERS ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS.


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