How can you tell if your friends are gay?


NrrdGrrl! Discussion Forum: Q & A & Q & A: How can you tell if your friends are gay?
By Joanna and Steph on Friday, July 3, 1998 - 11:54 am:


Hi,

We are two 14 year-old girls and want to know if our friends are gay. They are two sets of boys (best friends) and are always touching each other and stuff. We don't mind but we just want to know the truth. How do we know if they are straight?

Write back soon.

luv Steph & Joanna


By Shampoo on Friday, July 3, 1998 - 12:31 pm:

Why don't you just ask them? Because you're never going to know otherwise, there's no real *way* to tell.


By Jane on Friday, July 3, 1998 - 10:27 pm:

Ask them if they dislike sports and beer enjoy gardening and shopping.....j/k


By Bubblez on Saturday, July 4, 1998 - 11:49 am:

joanna u r nuts-murray and craig or gary and josh!!!!

So much Gary and Josh and if they ever see this u r soooooooooo dead


By Leon-Lover on Saturday, July 4, 1998 - 01:02 pm:

Gemma...... It's Gary and Josh.

Don't even think about telling them!!!! I don't cara anway.

We have already asked them and they said no but they deffinately wouldn't admitt it so......

BYEE


By Shampoo on Sunday, July 5, 1998 - 05:24 am:

Well isn't this cute...


By Joanna on Monday, July 6, 1998 - 09:47 am:

Shampoo,

What do you mean by that?

Luv joanna


By Shampoo on Monday, July 6, 1998 - 04:19 pm:

I dunno, it just seemed like the thing to say... never mind me, that was dumb. ^_^

It's just funny how all of a sudden, people came in and they were "if so and so sees this you are sooooo dead" I just thought it was cute!


By Shampoo (again) on Monday, July 6, 1998 - 04:24 pm:

Oh, and I just thought of something.

At 14, I don't think someones sexual preference is really known. I mean, you just start with the feelings and hormones and everything is just really confusing, I think it takes a while to actually realize that you're homosexual. I don't know of any guys in their early teens who were ever open about it and totally know it, especially when all their friends go around talking about girls and making fun of homosexuals, an admiration for each other or a good friendship can be mistaken for other feelings.


By Joanna on Tuesday, July 7, 1998 - 02:27 pm:

But the boys we're talking about are 16.....

Luv Joanna


By Olivia on Tuesday, July 7, 1998 - 11:35 pm:

Hi girls!

I know (hope) it was meant as a joke, but it's dangerous to stereotype anyone. I have plenty of gay male friends who like sports, beer, and shopping--I don't know about that gardening thing--the only men I know who like that are straight! :)

Olivia


By Kat on Wednesday, July 8, 1998 - 09:37 pm:

Shampoo-
I personally disagree that people don't know their sexual orientation when they are a teenager or younger. think about it: i'lve ALWAYS known how much i like boys and i don't think i'll ever change :)


By Leon-Lover 3 on Monday, July 13, 1998 - 05:57 pm:


Kat-

I think that too. J I'm not planning on
asking them if they're gay - I just to know.

Luv Joanna xxx


By Chocobabe on Wednesday, July 15, 1998 - 01:49 pm:

Everyone seems to know each other, help! You can go and ask them if there gay straight out but I don't think they'll tell you or admitt it. Escpecailly if there unsure or embaressed about it. Then again they can't be that unsure if they fiddle with each other in public. Or did you just catch them??


By Leon-Lover on Thursday, July 16, 1998 - 09:52 am:

Exactly Chocobabe.


By Chocobabe on Saturday, July 18, 1998 - 12:22 pm:

Thanks Leon-lover! Whats Leons last name? We've got this boy in our class called Leon, but he is seriously rank and it can't be him.


By Anonymous on Saturday, July 25, 1998 - 01:43 pm:

they are probably just a bunch of fags!!!!:-)


By NaughtyAngel on Tuesday, July 28, 1998 - 01:55 pm:

And if they are a bunch of "fags"...
personally I don't really see how it's any of YOUR business what THEIR sexual orientation is. If they wanted you to know, they would have told you.

~NaughtyAngel~

By Anonymous on Friday, August 7, 1998 - 09:07 pm:

If you are not sure of your friend's sexuality, why is it necassary to know? Even if you ask, they might lie to you.
They may eventually decide to tell you, if they feel comfortable but that's up to them.


By Chas on Sunday, August 9, 1998 - 11:43 am:

if you asked a boy round here if he was gay, two things could happen: 1) If he wasn't, he'd probably hit you, especially if he was with his mates
2) If he was, he wouldn't dare tell you in public, cos then he'd be the one getting hit. But he would probably let you know if he was comfortable with it. And he would be OK with his mates, cos they wouldn't be wankers.
A lot of gay men are so much more sensitive and articulate because they can admit they love another man so they're not hung up about being macho or shit like that.
I have no problem with whoever anyone wants to love - as long as it's not harming anyone or any thing. If Joanna and Steph are that bothered (and by now they've probably done something about it anyway), they should just ask. But you shouldn't assume too much - I know a lot of straight guys are scared to touch each other apart from in a fight, but they can if they want, it doesn't automatically mean they're gay.


By ZoOeY on Sunday, August 9, 1998 - 05:41 pm:

why does it matter to you so much if you feel that yr friends might be gay? if it is really nagging you, then don't hestiate to ask them but don't corner them into an awkward position. regardless of their sexual orientation, respect them for who they are.

i don't think there are certain things you can detect one's sexual orientation. the only way to know the truth is to talk to them, that's for sure. how else would you know...?


By Anonymous on Monday, August 24, 1998 - 04:51 pm:

HI
Another way is to say
"Hey are you Gay"

And Joanna your sick


By Sunshine on Sunday, September 27, 1998 - 01:19 pm:

Maybe they are just fooling around with each other.Like there are some girls in our school who kiss each other on the lips but they just do it to be "different."I personally think it is sick but no they are not gay.Well,why don't u go up to them and ask them.Second,do they have girlfriends?If they do that proves that are not gay?Thirdly,when they do it are they all serious or are laughing and think it is a joke.If they are serious u should have a talk with them.But really what they want to do with each other is their buissness,just respect them,and ask them not to do anything in front of u if it is uncomfortable for u all.
:)Sunshine:)


By Ricks bird on Friday, October 16, 1998 - 05:49 pm:


Hi - Listen, I wrote this discussion forum thing so long ago and now I actually don't care if they r or not. Itwas just a joke ok? And by the way I found out that they r gay.
Sorry, if I've offended anyone.

Luv Joanna xxx


By Anonymous on Wednesday, November 4, 1998 - 01:27 am:

There is no way to look at someone and know if they are gay. I am bi-sexual ( and by the way am 16 and have known since I was 10 to 12 ) And when I came out and told people they were as shocked as ever. Maybe your two guy friends are just really good friends and are secure enough with themselves and eachother to be able to joke around about that and not be to grossed out about it. I have very strait friends who are male and lick eachother's nipples. Because it's funny. Anyway, it's up to you to judge them or you can take they're word for it like a real friend and leave the issue alone. It should'nt matter to your friendship anyway. Angela


Add a Message


Enter Username and Password

This is a public posting area. If you have a user account or a moderator account, enter your username and password into the provided text boxes. If you do not have an account, enter your full name into the "Username" blank and leave the "Password" blank empty.

    Username:
    Password:
    Post message as "Anonymous"