Patriarchal self-serving heterosexist implications aside, this commercial really hit me
where I lived. I mean, it rang with the force of one thousand liberty bells, and I felt
as if I had found some sort of validation in the media. Imagine that!
Okay, you're probably wondering how a hip chick like me can advocate celibacy or
abstinence. See, people think I'm this sex radical, although I have no idea where they
came up with that. I've been celibate for about three months now. Yes, even I fell off
the wagon. But I've gone as long as four years. It sounds like a long time, but it
really isn't. But I hear you asking, "Why celibacy?"
The truth is, sex is just too much of a hassle, and I've gone through some tremendous
mental stress, mad drama and just plain old crap because of it. I'm not saying I'll
never "do the deed" again, it's just at this point in my life, it makes sense to
just say no.
It's not about morality or passing judgement on others. And no, I don't identify with
Donna Martin from Beverly Hills 90210. It's about not having to wake up next to
psychopaths, or people who act like they don't know you...or people you don't want to
know the next day. Not to mention, I don't have to share my toothbrush with anyone
else.
So I came up with the top ten reasons to say "ewwww, go away!"
So what do you do in place of having sex? You can hug someone. You can hold hands.
You can tell and or write really erotic stories to each other, but wait until you're
both ready to act them out. Or you can do nothing. Act like your life is totally
normal, and that this celibacy thing is not a big deal. Because it isn't. Like Janet
Jackson says, I promise, I'll be worth the wait.
This month's Snarl is by Cecily Walker:
cel.i.ba.cy
\'sel-*-b*-se-\ n 1: the state of not being married 2a: abstention from sexual
intercourse 2b: abstention by vow from marriage
ab.sti.nence \'ab-st*-n*n(t)s\ \-n*nt\ n
[ME, fr. OF, fr. L abstinentia, fr. abstinent-, abstinens, pr]p. of abstine-re 1:
voluntary forbearance esp. from indulgence of appetite.
I hate the Arthur DeMoss foundation. You know, the simps who came up with those
cloyingly irritating "LIFE: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHOICE" commercials a few years ago? So
what's a pro-choice Africana feminist to do when she sees one of their spots that makes
sense? I'm sure you've seen it: the one where they show a young girl in a hospital bed,
dying of some terminal disease (my guess is AIDS) because she trusted a guy who said
he'd always be there for her if she just had sex with him. At the end, they show this
totally happening teen-like chick who absolutely glows with innocence and health and the
voice-over (a man's voice, no less) says: you're worth waiting for.
Cecily Walker also wrote
African American Women and
Feminism for Grrowl! #2