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©1999, Lockergnome LC. All Rights Reserved. Subscription inquiries are answered below. Content written by Chris Pirillo. Website hosted by DigitalDaze. All true wisdom is found on t-shirts and bumper stickers.


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Lockergnome
02.23.1999 - GnomeREPORT

Before we begin, I wanted to announce that (according to the World Charts) Lockergnome is the most popular website in the world! At least, this week we are. Understand that this came about because YOU voted for Lockergnome--thank you! Of course, if you haven't voted yet, please do. I'd love for us to stay on top for a while... let's show the universe just how powerful Lockergnomies can be...

And now, another useless (but somewhat interesting) story from my past. And yes, it actually has something to do with computers this time (and to a large degree, it relates to how I choose to operate this newsletter). I don't feature something here unless I like it (or have, will, or would use it). To illustrate this point, allow me to take you back a couple of years BLT (Before Lockergnome Transmissions).

I just finished student teaching in San Antonio, Texas (with an amazing 7th grade English teacher, Brenda Jackson). When I came back home to Des Moines, I picked up a job for the holiday season; a well-known computer superstore was hiring extra hands for their hardware department. This was (believe it or not) the first computer-related job I had. I was a salesperson, but hey--we all gotta start somewhere.

It didn't take long before I knew what our department had to offer--there were peripherals & packages aplenty. Customers would ask me for help, and I would do my best at answering their questions. But that was my problem: I answered their questions HONESTLY. Apparently, it was a prerequisite to lie to people and I was setting forth a dangerous example by telling the truth. Instead of selling any given brand, I'd focus in on the ones with better hardware.

The store managers took me into a small room and explained: "while we DO have lower-end computers with higher return rates, that should be no reason for you not to sell them." EXCUSE ME!? They were tipped off to my 'mode of operation' by a very emotional woman. She was ready to plop down big bucks to get a computer, but she didn't even know what she really wanted--and I didn't think she was ready to make such a large investment. So I told her to go home, explore her options, get more information, etc.. This made her cry (NO JOKE) and then tell the managers.

Well, thank goodness this was just a seasonal employment opportunity for me. That's the last time I ever listened to a salesperson. If I ever make YOU cry, I'm sorry. But let this be clearly understood: I don't like crap, and I won't promote crap. Anybody who tells you otherwise is full of crap.

-- Chris Pirillo        


GnomePROGRAM

TitleTime v1.03 [25k] W9x/NT FREE

http://www.neuss.netsurf.de/~sonderma/download/titime.zip
http://www.neuss.netsurf.de/~sonderma/index.html

There are tons of time applets to take into consideration, but where's one place (on your screen) that you know is always going to be on top (yet never in the way)? Look at your Title Bar... seems like an awful lot of wasted space (in most windows). Throwing the time in there shouldn't hurt anything--especially if you're a constant clock watcher. TitleTime will help you; in a matter of seconds (no pun intended) you'll have the time & date sitting in your Active Title Bar. You can set alarms, too! NOTE: it may not work with all windowed applications.


GnomeSYSTEM

Fonts supplied with Common Products

http://www.microsoft.com/typography/fonts/default.htm

A week or so ago, I posted the ultimate font tweak in an IOWA answer (http://www.lockergnome.com/issues/daily/19990211.html) but some of you wondered what the "default" fonts were in your system. Here's a page you should consult before removing any of your installed fonts. Following my tweak will conserve system memory, and potentially disk space.


GnomeCANDY

D.Film's Flash Movie Maker

http://www.dfilm.com/new_site/movie_instant_index.html

You've probably seen Shockwave Flash sequences on the Internet before. And, no doubt you've received a few web cards in your lifetime. Since most of us aren't graphics geniuses, we don't own any Macromedia creative tools. However, visit this site and you'll be able to create a small "movie" for a friend... then e-mail them a URL to view it on the web! It's pretty darn cool--and relatively simple to use. Choose the scene, characters, music... then enter any dialogue you want (limited to one passage per character). I think I'm addicted to this thing...


GnomeFAVORITE

Fonts Anon~

http://www.fontsanon.com/

Some people are addicted to those little chocolate cookies with "the white stuff". Others have the need for nicotine. Then, there are those of us who are seriously addicted to downloading the coolest-looking fonts. Now there's a place where you can gather with your peers and admit that you're a fontaholic. I've been "faceless" for about three hours now... which is a major accomplishment. If you have a website, and you're a font maniac, join the rest of us! Unsure of your fontaholicism? Check out the A-Z list immediately. There's no cure.


GnomeDESKTOP

FONT: Freemason [65k]

http://www.sadan.com/type/Freemason.zip
http://www.sadan.com/type/index.html

Lockergnomie Max Raven boosted my entertainment center into the '90s a few weeks back, but Gretchen's been afraid to explore the "full capabilities" of it. You see, we're in an apartment--the walls are thick, but she doesn't want to upset our neighbors. Well, when she's at work, I crank up the volume (and yank off the knob). I figured if anyone complains, I'll just bake some cookies and leave them at their doorstep. Sorry, I just can't help myself with this thing, man. One day I'll hook it up to Mr. Bigglesworth and play a game or two.


GnomeTIP

Lockergnomie Jaron Hendrix reminded me of a killer command prompt utility that comes with Windows 9x: 'START.EXE'. When you find yourself at a Command Prompt (ya know, while you're still in Windows), you can use START.EXE to launch Windows programs. Imagine yourself sitting at the 'C:\' prompt and wanting to launch Notepad. You would type: "START NOTEPAD" (without the quotes). This will only work when you're still in Windows, gang. START using it more.