Cyberia
More talent So this is where people who sell The Big Issue go when they're not annoying you on street corners. I'm surprised they show themselves in public, yet alone that someone thought it economically viable to give them somewhere to congregate.

I've never seen a more disgusting collection of the underclass unless you count a Labour party rally. Since when have dirty fingernails, yellowed armpits and vegetal stains around the crotch become fashionable? Perhaps Cyberia should be relocated to Streatham or Kilburn because it's only scummy students and the unemployed who frequent it. And it would save them the bus fare into the West End. (To be fair, a lot of them ride bicycles - I know, I nearly ran one over as I drew up in a cab.)

Big plus point - you can smoke. This makes checking out the lack of talent over a cappu so much more civilised. Unfortunately, the preferred brand here seems to be Benson & Hedges or roll-ups.

I didn't bother with the food, that's for fat people. Judging by the complexions of most of the customers, their diet consists of baked beans, white bread, lard and Mars Bars, so what good is a Mediterranean salad going to do them?

I would only recommend trying to pitch someone here if you've got a problem your best friends haven't told you about.

Back to Cyberia