VIRGO Aug 24 - Sep 23

Honestly, Virgo, if fretting were an Olympic event
you'd do more podium-mounting than a bulldog in heat.
Listen: you're not sweating heavily because of a rare
glandular disease,
it's summer and your cardy's a wool-nylon mix;
that lump on your thigh is not malignant, it's used Kleenex compressed in your
pocket after a couple of turns in the washing machine;
and you're not about to have a stroke, you just didn't take the pins out
the collar of your lovely new shirt.
The sun's conjunction
with Neptune counsels caution with soft-centres or fondant fancies.
Wear more green, it makes you look fatherly.
Your lucky river's
the Nidd.