Pokud nerozumíš anglicky, zkus českou verzi

 :-)   Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
       joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
 ;-)   Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
       More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
 :-(   Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset
       or depressed about something.
 :-I   Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
       good as a happy smilie
 :->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
 ;->   Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
 Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

 (-:   User is left handed
 %-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
 :*)   User is drunk
 [:]   User is a robot
 8-)   User is wearing sunglasses
 B:-)  Sunglasses on head
 ::-)  User wears normal glasses
 B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses
 8:-)  User is a little girl
 :-)-8 User is a Big girl
 :-{)  User has a mustache
 :-{}  User wears lipstick
 {:-)  User wears a toupee
 }:-(  Toupee in an updraft
 :-[   User is a Vampire
 :-E   Bucktoothed vampire
 :-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
 :-7   User juust made a wry statement
 :-*   User just ate something sour
 :-)~  User drools
 :-~)  User has a cold
 :'-(  User is crying
 :'-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying
 :-@   User is screaming
 :-#   User wears braces
 :^)   User has a broken nose
 :v)   User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
 :_)   User's nose is sliding off of his face
 :-z  y.a.c.s.
 :-x  "my lips are sealed" smiley
 :-c  bummed out smiley
 :-v  talking head smiley
 :v)  left-pointing nose smiley
 :-b  left-pointing tongue smiley
 :-/  lefty undecided smiley
 :-?  smilely smoking a pipe
 .-]  one-eyed smilely
 ,-}  wry and winking
 0-)  smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
 :-=) older smiley with mustache
 :u)  smiley with funny-looking left nose
 :n)  smiley with funny-looking right nose
 :<)  User is from an Ivy League School 
 :-&  User is tongue tied.
 =:-) User is a hosehead 
 :-)  User is a punk rocker 
 :-( (real punk rockers don't smile) 
 :=") User has two noses 
 +-:-)User is the Pope or holds some other religious office 
 `:-) User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning 
 ,:-) Same thing...other side 
 |-I  User is asleep 
 |-O  User is yawning/snoring 
 :-Q  User is a smoker 
 :-?  User smokes a pipe 
 O-)  Megaton Man On Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver) 
 O :-)User is an angel (at heart, at least) 
 :-P  Nyahhhh! 
 :-S  User just made an incoherent statement 
 :-D  User is laughing (at you!) 
 :-/  User is skeptical 
 C=:-)User is a chef 
 @=   User is pro-nuclear war 
 *<:-)User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat  
 :-o  Uh oh! (8-o It's Mr. Bill!  
 *:o) And Bozo the Clown! 
 3:]  Pet smilie 
 3:[  Mean Pet smilie 
 d8=  Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat. 
 E-:-)User is a Ham radio operator 
 :-9  User is licking his/her lips 
 %-6  User is braindead 
 [:-) User is wearing a walkman 
 (:I  User is an egghead 
 <:-I User is a dunce 
 K:P  User is a little kid with a propeller beenie 
 @:-) User is wearing a turban 
 :-0  No Yelling! (Quiet Lab) 
 :-:  Mutant Smilie 
      The invisible smilie 
 .-)  User only has one eye 
 ,-)  Ditto...but he's winking 
 X-(  User just died 
 8 :-)User is a wizard 
 :-` smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
 :-1 smiley bland face
 :-!  :-@ smiley face screaming 
 :-#| smiley face with bushy mustache 
 :-$ smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
 :-% smiley banker
 :-6 smiley after eating something sour
 :^) smiley with pointy nose (righty)
 :-7 smiley after a wry statement
 8-) smiley swimmer
 :-* smiley after eating something bitter
 :-& smiley which is tongue-tied
 :-0 smiley orator smiley invisible man
 (:-( unsmiley frowning
 (:-) smiley big-face
 ):-) " ):-( unsmiley big-face
 )8-) scuba smiley big-face
 =:-) smiley punk-rocker
 =:-( real punk rockers don't smile
 +:-) smiley priest 
 :-q smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
 :-e disappointed smiley
 :-t cross smiley
 :-i semi-smiley
 :-o smiley singing national anthem
 :-p smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
 :-[ un-smiley blockhead
 :-] smiley blockhead
 :-{ smiley variation on a theme
 :-} ditto
 {:-)smiley with its hair parted in the middle
 }:-)above in an updraft
 :-a lefty smilely touching tongue to nose
 :-s smiley after a BIZARRE comment
 :-d lefty smiley razzing you
 g-) smiley with ponce-nez glasses
 :-j left smiling smilely
 :-k beats me, looks like something, tho.
 :-l y. a. s.
 :-: mutant smiley
 :-\ undecided smiley
 :-| "have an ordinary day" smiley
 :-< real sad smiley
 :>   midget smiley
      

 Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.

 :)  Midget smilie
 :]  Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend
 =)  Variation on a theme...
 :} - What should we call these? (what?)
 :) - Happy
 :> - what?
 :@ - what?
 :D - Laughter
 :I - Hmmm...
 :( - Sad
 :[ - Real Downer
 :<- what? 
 :{ what?
 :O Yelling
 :C what?
 :Q what?
 :,( Crying
 [] Hugs and
 :* Kisses
 |I Asleep
 |^o Snoring


}:^#})    Updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin
C=}>;*{)) A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,mustache,
           and a double chin


 
 :-)    ha ha                   ~~:-(   net.flame
 |-)    hee hee                 O |-)   net.religion
 |-D    ho ho
 :->    hey hey                 8 :-I   net.unix-wizards
 :-(    boo hoo                   X-(   net.suicide
 :-I    hmm                     E-:-I   net.ham-radio
 :-O    uh oh                    >:-I   net.startrek
 :-P    nyah nyah                3:o[   net.pets
 |-P    yuk

 :-}    beard
 :-{    mustache
 :-#    braces
 :-X    bow tie
 :-Q    smoker

 Birth          |-O   
 Death          8-#
 Infinity       8

Finally, here are most frequently used abbreviations:

BTW    	by the way
OBTW   	Oh, by the way
ASAP   	as soon as possible
OTOH   	on the other hand
WRT    	with respect to
FYI    	for your information
OIC    	Oh, I see
L8R    	later
CUL8R  	See you later!
FMPOV  	from my point of view
TTFN   	Ta Ta for now
H! WYM 	Hey! Watch your mouth!



  

By Brian, (brian_000@seznam.cz). See homepage