Computers are boring. I mean, what could be more boring than an undistinguished looking off-white box that sits in the corner of the room making beeping noises? When was the last time a computer did anything really practical? When was the last time you saw a computer doing the washing up or cooking the dinner, or making the beds? Eh?
All right, so I'm exaggerating a bit. Personally I think that computers are cool, but there are many people who think that computers are, by definition, tedious things that are of no practical use. There are also people who think that computers are the best thing since sliced bread and spend every working day fiddling with them.
It's rarely, if ever, that these two different types of people meet. If they did, what would they talk about? One would yawn widely and obviously while the other would happily rabbit away about how they managed to hack the Bank Of England and transfer the entire assets of the UK Government into their name. I can't honestly see much chance of them really getting on.
Personally, I think that both sides of this particular divide are talking complete and utter tosh. The simple fact of the matter is that computers are tools. They aren't the answer to all mankind's problems or the spawn of Beelzebub, the master of the Stygian pits of hell. Mankind is not going to be pushed into a whole new era by the next big thing in communications technology (the Internet, in case you hadn't guessed). Computers are simply tools, like a crowbar or a garden spade. Except that you can't dig your garden with your Amiga. Well, I suppose you could, but you'd probably have a few problems playing Stunt Car Racer afterwards, what with all the bulbs lodged in the disk drive and the flower bed you'd just planted in your FPU. Of course, computers are more flexible tools than most.
I can't think of any other types of tool which can do so many things, from playing some stonking games to settling your home accounts. It is probably this flexibility which causes people to become obsessed with their computers. Once you understand the basics of programming and the like, you can write your own programs to do all manner of weird and wonderful things. Personally I'm not really into programming but I can see the attraction.
However, I really do get worried when I see people getting obsessed with computers. Most of the programmers I know are well-balanced human beings (well, reasonably well balanced), but there are some I've come across who seem to have gone over the edge. My message to them is: lighten up! Turn off your machine and go for a walk! Go out and hug a tree or something! It's only a machine, fer gawds sake! It's not as important as the real world!
Contact Richard Baguley on baggers@cix.compulink.co.uk and timbo@gashead.demon.co.uk
The opinions expressed in The Baguley Column are not necessarily those of Amiga Format.