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1994-04-12
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SMASHING PUMPKINS INTO SMALL PILES OF PUTRID DEBRIS
-=================================================-
THE OFFICIAL COMPLETELY EDITABLE VERSION 3.00
-===========================================-
A JAMÜL SOFTWARE PRODUCTION
-=========================-
* * * THIS IS SHAREWARE. GIVE ME MONEY. * * *
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY
---------
DATELINE - October 30, 1993.
All the pumpkins of the world cower in fear again, as another Halloween
approaches. As always, they are destined to be culinarily transformed
into grotesque icons of a pagan tradition. Their only hope was to steal
all of Earth's candles and take them away to the distant pumpkin planet,
Pumpkinia.
DATELINE - November 4, 1993.
Despite tremendous security measures, the pumpkins succeeded and now
Earth has no candles. If the power goes out, everybody is SCREWED. The
only hope is Bouapha, the Gourdslayer. He hops into the specially designed
TX-34Z Rocket Ship and blasts off for the Zeta Toejam star system.
CAN BOUAPHA AND HIS MIGHTY HAMMERS OVERCOME THE PUMPKINS!?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE WORLD
---------
Some people say the world is what you make of it. In this case, it really
is. Worlds are files that have the extension .SLF. Type SMASH <filename> to
play any world you want to. But don't type the extension.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BADGUYS
-----------
Baby Pumpkins : Not very dangerous, but they can suck your life away if they
make contact. They come in several varieties.
Big Pumpkins : Dangerous, but stupid.
Sea Pumpkins : They swim, and spit green blobs at you.
Robo Pumpkins : LOOK OUT! These things are lethal! They spew energy blasts
all about, and charge towards Bouapha.
Squash : May look small, but these buggers are fast and vicious.
Massive Pumpkin: He rules IntroLand, vomiting up baby pumpkins at will.
Chef Liem : An evil chef, who throws pumpkin pies.
GXR-0932b : A horrid mutant pumpkin. Kept in a containment tank.
Yeti : Fuzzy creatures that live in the snow. Sympathetic to the
pumpkins' cause.
Centipumpkin : See it to believe it.
Sea Serpent : Spits out semi-guided swarm bullets, and lives in the water.
???????????????: King of Pumpkinia. Too powerful for words.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE CONTROLS
------------
/\ Arrows to move!
< >
\/
Enter, Space, or Ctrl to throw hammers, if you have them.
ESC to quit (INSTANTLY!) to DOS
F4 to toggle COOL Sound FX
F5 to TURN THAT CRAP OFF! (music off)
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
|F10 IS THE DANG OPTIONS MENU!!!|
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
-don't forget that-
IF YOU HAVE A SOUND BLASTER:
Use the SETINTR program to set the interrupt to what your sound
card uses (i.e., "SETINTR 7" for IRQ 7).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TROUBLESHOOTING
---------------
This game requires virtually nothing to be loaded. If you have a sound
driver, like MVSOUND.SYS for the Pro Audio Spectrum, load that to get sound
effects (CT-VOICE.DRV for the Sound Blaster is not necessary, as it is
loaded automatically by the program). Now, since this is the case, please
free up as much as you can to run it. I have 606k free on my system
(SPISPOPD only uses base RAM), and it works fine. I'm sure it would be okay
with quite a bit less too, but just to be safe, try booting with only smartdrv
loaded if you're having problems. You'll want smartdrv going.
- IF YOU KEEP GETTING "VOC FILES MISSING" ERROR MESSAGE -
and you know you have the voc file in question, this means there was not
enough memory to load the sound.
- IF THE GAME CRASHES OR HANGS -
Let me know. That's not supposed to happen.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHAREWARE STUFF
---------------
This game is most definitely shareware. Support the concept, but mostly
support me and give me money. I'm asking that if you like this game and
play it for more than... oh... thirty-six seconds (although that may be
a bit unrealistic) that you send me the paltry sum of five bucks. That's
5 American dollars (in check or money order form PLEASE!).
Now I understand that NOBODY pays for shareware these days... Such is the
declining state of affairs on our once proud planet. Do everything you can
to prevent this horrid decline, mostly by sending me money. If you think it
will help prevent the downward slide of ethics, send me an extra dollar or
thirty. If you feel that you absolutely CANNOT spare the money, for instance
you live in a cardboard box with a 286/12, then spare thirty cents to send
me a cool looking postcard from your hometown, or from wherever you happen to
be at the time. Make all checks out to Mike Hommel (NOT JAMÜL SOFTWARE!).
Mike Hommel
Sierra Madre 14H
Cal Poly
San Luis Obispo, CA 93410-2000
USA (in case the Cal Poly didn't clear it up for you)
However, if you DO pay the fee, you'll receive a special commemorative 1st
edition SPISPOPD bag of Pumpkin Seeds! That's right! Individually hand-
numbered! Be the first kid on your block to own your very own bag of pumpkin
seeds with the SPISPOPD logo attractively emblazoned across the front, as
well as the Jamül Software emblem. NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE CREDITS
-----------
Programmer Mike Hommel (mhommel)
Sound Engineer Joe Reiter (jreiter)
Level Design Derek Moore (damoore)
Musician at Large Burnt Christian (bchristi)
Associate Compiler Technician Cornell Nieh (cnieh)
Chef Liem Le (llle)
Hero Bouapha (ignore him)
Transportation Engineer Greg "The" King (ghking)
Graphics Management Mike Hommel (mhommel)
Vocal Effects Kevin "Toasty" Fong (kfong)
J.T. "Toaster" Gilkeson (jgilkeso)
Burnt "Bleah" Christian (bchristi)
Osvaldo "Hlyargh" Boggart (no-account punk)
Cornell "Bingo" Nieh (cnieh)
Mike "DumbAss" Hommel (mhommel)
Derek "Door" Moore (damoore)
286 Playtesting Jeff "Jèfe" Cullins (jcullins)
Mike Kong (mkong)
386 Playtesting J.T. Gilkeson (jgilkeso)
486 Playtesting Cornell Nieh (cnieh)
Unique 486 Playtesting Joe "Mobeetie" Reiter (jreiter)
EGA Nothing Whatsoever Mike"pleasepleaseplease"Kong (mkong)
- All Internet addresses are @oboe.calpoly.edu -
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE END
-------
I bet you thought it would mention secret stuff down here, huh?
Well too bad! All I'm gonna say is RINLEY.